For Those of You Interested in My Boobs

I began breast feeding Jude shortly after he was born. I had heard that a lot of time it's very difficult and it's not uncommon for mothers to give up feeding because it's jut too much for them. I had heard from most of my family that they were "unable to produce milk" and nearly starved their children, so that added pressure scared me (come to find out it may not have been entirely true). However, I had said that I would at least attempt breast feeding to see if I could make it work for me/us.

Leading up to Jude's delivery I tried to prepare in any way I could. Everything from classes and books to nursing tops, breast pumps and nipple cream. I felt confident that I was prepared to do this.

Sitting in the delivery room with Jude laying on my chest I knew that feeding him as soon as possible was the best thing for the two of us. However, no matter how much preparing I had done, I just sat there dumbfounded and unsure of what to do. The nurse was running in every direction and I just needed a little reassurance that what I was doing was right. I stopped her at one point and she had no problem taking a few moments to help the two of us. He latched on fairly quickly (his mouth was wide open from screaming about being in this strange new place) and we did a little brief feeding. I instantly calmed down and thought that it wasn't going to be bad at all!

Later on, back in our recovery room we tried as regularly as we needed to and for the most part he seemed to be getting it. Having people come in and out for visits made it difficult to nurse him because at the time I just wasn't comfortable telling everyone to leave, but I wasn't about to whip my boobies out in front of everyone either. It didn't take long for me to lay out the "Jude needs to eat" warning to clear the room for a little while (we both needed to concentrate). I never met with a lactation consultant and the nurses answered any questions I had, but for the most part it was Ryan and Jude and I working together to make it happen. One nurse in particular tried to convince me that "there's no such thing as nipple confusion" so if I was worried about how much he was peeing I should just give him a bottle because he'd eventually catch on. Then she proceeded to cover my boob in formula to get him to latch on. I was not a happy camper (see: first hospital post about nurse I didn't think too highly of). After that, asking her in particular for help just wasn't going to happen.

Shortly after she left, he seemed to get the whole process and began pooing and peeing regularly (or at least on par with the day 1, 2, 3, 4 etc expectations). Needless to say this made for a happy mommy and I was able to completely relax about the whole thing and feed him on demand. This isn't to say it was simple, but not stressing out about the process and knowing he was healthy was enough to make me keep going.

By the time we were coming home, I feel that we had a pretty good system. We started tracking his wet/dirty diapers on our own and were making sure he was well hydrated (wet mouth and color-less pees). I never felt that engorged and very uncomfortable feeling everyone talks about, but my milk has arrived (confirmed by the jaundice nurses) and he's eating like a champ.

There was one time (for like 4 hours) where he would scream when I tried to put him on for a feeding (we're talking high pitched losing your voice type of screams). We had received some mixed advice about how often/long he should eat and after talking it through it seemed he just wasn't hungry and force feeding just wasn't something he was up for.

Once we relaxed a little and let him eat when he wanted (typically it's every 2 hours for about 15 minutes on one side - maybe a second helping on the other - sometimes a little more than 2 hours apart - even approaching 4 hours here and there) it got much better and we're becoming regular old pros. He seems super content and the nurses have said that he's putting on weight which is always good!

Within the next few days I plan to bust out my breast pump and try pumping a little here and there to get a little freezer stash going for random feedings for dad and just in case we aren't able to pull out a boob. It should be exciting.