Our Second Cinco de Mayo Together

Jude's 1st Birthday was fairly uneventful.

The night before his birthday, I set up his toy room so that he could wake up and go downstairs to play. He seemed confused about why all of his toys were moved, but seem interested in the new space.




After breakfast we had his 12 month check up. He unfortunately had to have 2 shots... which I felt terrible about! The check up went normally. Jude is right on track and doing well. He was 19lbs 15 ounces and 29.5" long. The doctor mentioned that he has noticed that Jude may have a slight heart murmur, but that there's nothing to be concerned about. He advised me that it's not uncommon in young children (and I compared it to my dog Zoey... she had one too that she was supposed to outgrow). He said it's so slight that he has no restrictions for Jude, he just thought he'd let me know in case for some reason someone else noticed it and mentioned it. He didn't want us to think he wasn't paying attention.

I got the go ahead to stop nursing and to switch to whole milk. We're still not totally ready... but at least the options there.

After our check up we had a nice relaxing lunch with Uncle Bryan and Aunt Katy and then headed home. I considered going to a park or something, but there was much to do around the house. Instead, Jude and I planted some stuff in the garden and once Ryan got home we did some painting and finishing touches on Jude's toy room (photos to follow).

The day quickly got away from us and so we decided to go out for dinner. Being Cinco De Mayo, we tried to be a little festive. We went to Applebees. Ok... that's not the festive part... Ryan got a Corona, I got a Margarita (or two...).

After hurrying home to meet up with Uncle Byran and Aunt Katy and Ryan Creed, we gave Jude his first of three birthday cakes. It was a classic funfetti cake with vanilla frosting, and Jude loved it.











The day really went by so quickly. It's still hard to believe that he's a year old!

**I can 'technically' cross off 'make jude a birthday cake' from my list with this cake... but I'd say I officially crossed it off with his birthday party cake. Either way, it's done!

9 Month Check Up

This morning was Jude's 9 month check up. We're a couple of days ahead of schedule... so I won't be taking his 9 month photo for a couple of days.

I believe I've mentioned Jude was on a bit of a sleep boycott for awhile. Well, the past week or so, he got back where he used to be and so this morning went oh-so-smoothly. We were up around 7:00, did our usual shower/dress/breakfast routine and got out the door with plenty of time to spare.

The visit went pretty typically. He got weighed, doctor check him out. He is healthy and developing nicely. He has a small cyst on part of his foreskin, but apparently this is common and will eventually reabsorb itself. The doctor seriously mentioned the little bit of crusty-ness around Jude's nose like 3 times. He kept saying "it's normal for a 9 month old" but it started to give me a complex like he was saying "why haven't you wiped it off??" (when really - Jude hates when i pick at him.... so, I chose my battles and crusties are just not that important).

Also, he got his Hep. B shot. I was again basically shunned for still declining the Flu shot and H1N1... but whatever. The one shot he did get, went sooo well! I braced myself for a crying baby and had it set in my mind that I'd nurse him after it was all done. Well, I held him in my arms as she pinched his chunky thigh and stuck the needle in. I swear to you, when she was done, he looked at me, looked at her and then back at me with this "what the hell is this crazy bitch doing" look on his face. Not a tear, not a whine, nothing. It was priceless.

Afterwards we went into the doctor's office (which I'm now aware is standard procedure). We talked about household, pets, food, milestones, etc. I had made mention to the doctor that Jude was on his sleep boycott, so I got a whole lecture about not going in to get him when he wakes up, because it only reinforces the behavior. I knew at that moment I shouldn't have even brought it up. While I get where he's coming from, to some degree I just don't agree. Within the last week or so Jude has gotten himself back into his normal sleep routine without us having him cry it out or anything.... so I now personally think either way he will sleep when he wants to sleep. I could be wrong, but it seems like he will be awake for 5 minutes while I'm holding him or he'll be awake for 5 minutes while he's crying it out (or fussing it out... he doesn't usually cry in the middle of the night). Personally, I'd rather be holding him. I didn't bring this up to the doctor, I just smiled and nodded.

We had the sleep conversation BEFORE the food conversation, so I decided I'd just 'leave out some details' when we started to talk about Jude's diet. I had mentioned at the last appointment that Jude was doing Baby Led Weaning and my doctor said he really thought spoon feeding was a good idea. So, this time when he mentioned that Jude could start more finger foods, I just decided to keep my mouth shut that he's been on them from the start. I got the OK for dairy and meats, which I had already started and was told that he should also be working on drinking from a cup. Currently, Jude will take sips out of MY cup and has on a handful of occasions used a sippy cup - so he's on track.

His Stats:
height: 27 1/2"
weight: 17.14lbs
Head Circ: 17 1/2"

All of which is on track with where he's been, falling just below average, which is to be expected since neither Ryan nor I are large people. He said he's growing very well and is a great size/proportions.

After his appointment, we made a day of it and I got my hair trimmed and we had a lunch together. Just another lovely day with little-man.

Oral Care

Yesterday, I finally took the time to call my dentists office. Jude has two teeth (as you all know) and before long will be getting more... and more... and more...

I had read once that when they start getting teeth, some dentists like to see them, just to check them out and pretty much introduce themselves. Not being sure if this was my dentist's procedure (or if my dentist even took children), I decided to check. In addition, I had some questions about what they would recommend as the proper way to care for Jude little friends.

They told me they do not normally see children until they are about 3 years old. If there is a problem before then, they recommend that we take him to a pediatric dentist and that in the event we need to do this, they have one they recommend.

They advised me at the 3 year visit, Jude would be introduced to the office, he would get to play with "mr sun" (who is really the light that they shine in your face during check ups), etc. It really sounded like they were used to dealing with kids. It made me confident that when the time comes, there's no reason to see a separate dentist for Jude.

In addition, they answered a few questions about early oral care.

Up to this point, Jude had one of those nubby gum brushes that he loves. In the morning while I'm holding him while brushing my teeth, he gets his little brush and chews and plays. I know that he's not being very effective, but I liked that he was getting the idea that it is routine and something that mommy had to do too.

The dentist said this was great and that at this point we should be gently wiping his gums after meals and nursing, with a small piece of gauze, a paper towel, etc.

Finally, she said when Ryan and I go in for our next check up, she would send us home with a toothbrush they recommend for babies. Around the 1 year mark is when she suggested we should get a tube of children's toothpaste and actually start brushing his teeth. She did not recommend one over the other and said they're all effective at doing the same thing.

I feel like this is all stuff I could have figured out on my own, but of course, it's nice to hear it from someone who specializes in these sorts of things.

Six Month Check Up

Today was Jude's 6 month check up. More to come on Jude being 6 months later this week (his appointment happened to be a few days early).

He had follow up shots to all of his 2 month shots. Since he got all of the 2 month shots, he of course got their follow ups. We were offered the flu shot and I declined it. I got the "talk" about how we don't live in a vacuum. I listened and again declined. I felt judged - but whatever. So, later on when he mentioned the H1N1 vaccine, you can only imagine how I felt even more judged.

His stats:

Weight: 15lbs 5.5ounces (20th percentile)
Height: 26.5" (50th percentile)
Head Circum: 16.5" (20th percentile)

He's on a pretty consistent path.

The appointment for the most part went the same. We went into the room, Jude got weighed and measured, the doctor came in and checked him out, then something different... he didn't ask the normal series of questions about the house etc. I thought it was weird, but let it go. Then the nurse came back in and gave Jude his shots :( and told us 'the doctor will see you in his office now'. I had to this point never gone into the doctor's office. Everything was always done in the exam room. I immediately had a million things running through my head "is there something to be concerned about?". I guess they just needed the room, because he just went over the normal chat in his office - it was actually very nice to not be dressing Jude and talking to the doctor.

We were advised to continue a lot of tummy time as he'll be moving around soon. He said developmentally he's right on track and doing well.

We also discussed food which is something we've really not been all about lately. I guess it was all the party hype that slowed it down, but we have not really been doing the food thing very often. This is fine as right now he's just experimenting with textures and tastes, but the doctor advised us that even though breast milk should be his primary source of nourishment, we should eventually begin to start some sort of schedule with his meals. Starting with one meal a day (no matter how big or small) and slowly working up to three just to start the idea of meals. I personally feel we have plenty of time for this and will continue to experiment with foods at a very gradual pace until he seems more prepared. He's very interested in putting everything except the food we give him in his mouth... (to this point he's had rice, carrots and butternut squash)

So, in conclusion, the appointment went very well. I have a healthy little man and he's adorable and wonderful and ALMOST 6 MONTHS OLD!

To Snip or Not to Snip

Question:

My question is for Ryan:

With Jude's 6 month "birthday" quickly approaching, what's the latest with the circumcision? Going to go thru with it, or keep him all naturale?

Answer:

Ahh.... Jude's poor little pee pee... he's only 6 months and it's been through so much.

At the time I read this question I asked Ryan and his response: "oh man, I wanna get him circumsized, but I just keep forgetting".

Our deal was that it's totally up to Ryan what happens. Whether we put him under for a 6 month circumcision or just leave him the way he is with his little dorsal split. I said whatever his decision I would not be the one making the call to schedule it. Instead if he wanted it to happen he would make the appointment. He never made the appointment. This was fine with me because I just am not comfortable with him being put under.

Our reason to initially circumsize was based on what we saw as "normal". The following stats make me re-think it:

"federal data from 1999 showed hospital circumcision rates of 81 percent in the Midwest, 66 percent in the Northeast, 64 percent in the South and 37 percent in the West"

So - where we live, Jude has ALMOST a 50/50 chance of being like the little boy next to him in the gym shower.

This information works for me and considering the ideal time to do the circumcision is now - we will not be putting him through it later.

Jude's 4 Month Check Up

Wednesday was Jude's 4 Month (can you believe it?!) check up. While part of me feels like he's been a part of our little family forever, I still feel like the time has flown by!

The normal stuff:
weight: 13lbs 3.5 ounces
height: 24.5"
Head circum.: 16"

He is measuring quite consistently in the 25-50 percentiles this time around for all measurements. So, he's not huge, but not tiny either. Just slightly below the "average".

He also had follow up shots to all of his 2 month vaccines. He handled them much better this time around. He took the first like a champ. Number two however got a little whine out of him, but once I held him close, he calmed right down! Much better than last month when he cried all the way to the car. He seemed a little cranky later in the evening, but a little tylenol helped with that.

We had the nurse practitioner that we had for his one month, so we got the discussion about needing to give him vitamins again. I commented that he gets enough from the sun and her only response was "he shouldn't be in the sun". I simply smiled and nodded and left it at that.

Another thing that sparked a little controversy was his poop schedule. It's not uncommon for Jude (and breastfed babies in general) to go days in between bowl movements. Jude had been on/is still on a little bit of a spurt were he goes about a week between dirty diapers. He pees regularly and in general does not seem constipated, so there's nothing to worry about. This doctor however said I should give him an ounce of prune juice regularly. I'm not at all ready for this so again, just smiled and nodded. He will not be getting prune juice.

She also checked his development and said he seems to be doing very well. She said we should be lucky that he sleeps through the night and seemed semi-impressed that he's been rolling over for quite some time. He's right where he needs to be. The next thing we should be looking for is him sitting up by around 6 months.

Finally, we had a discussion about solid foods. She said he seems to be thriving just fine on his breast milk and if he was formula fed she might talk about solids, but as it stands right now she said she'd avoid them. She said if we wanted to start them around 5 months we could, but she wouldn't be against -him not starting them until closer to 6 months. She said when we do start solids we should try oatmeal not rice as most babies do. We'll see what we want to do as the time draws near.

All in all though he's a healthy baby!

Firsts and Lasts

Jude's First 4th of July:

For the fourth we had quite a bit of running around. First we needed to go to see Ryan's niece for a belated birthday wish. Afterwards we headed over to spend time at my mom-mom and pop-pop's. We had thought about doing some swimming, but having had spent some time at the pool in the days prior we decided against it.

After some quality time with the family we went over to Bryan's for a little party. Being that Jude has been getting on a pretty consistent schedule lately we had to leave earlier than expected to get him home and in bed. In the end we didn't get to see any fireworks and were home before it was even completely dark out. We thought that we might be able to see some fireworks from our back deck, but we were wrong. Instead Ryan and I got to sit on the couch and spent a little time watching TV together.

My Last Day Home From Work:

Today was my last day on maternity leave. I'm not 100% sure that I've really come to terms with the fact that tomorrow I will be dropping my little man off at day care... in the care of someone I don't know very well for more time then I've been away from him collectively for the last two months.

Today I started by sleeping in just a little to spend some cuddle time with Jude. I thought for sure we'd go out and about, maybe taking a walk or something in the morning before his 2 month check up, but I was wrong. I remember looking at the clock thinking I had hours before I had to be at the doctor's office and at some point I looked again and I was basically running late. So, we ran out the door for his check up.

Jude is growing like a weed. He's 23 and 3/4 inches long, 11 pounds 12 ounces. I try to avoid the whole percentile comparison thing, but I'll throw out that he's in the 75th per. for his height and 50th for his weight. The reason I mention this is because his head is in the 15th percentile. The poor guy is destined for a peanut head like his father.

As you can see from his 2-month photo, he's been growing very well (he's trying to roll over on the toy box too- not smart).

In addition to the typical growth check, we discussed his feeding schedule, home life and much more. I brought up the thrush and the doctor said that it doesn't appear that it's too bad (maybe we caught it early on - or maybe it started to clear up a little on it's own). He told me just to be sure to clean his mouth out with a q-tip. I'll be treating myself with a little cream.

Finally it was time for his shots. This time I told them I only planned to do two shots. The nurse seemed very understanding, but said that only two shots would be needed as three of the 4 immunizations were all combined. One of the shots I planned to get today was included in the combo and the other was the one that was NOT included in the combo. Not being sure which was more/least important to me I again just gave in to what the doctor's office suggested and got everything. I could be wrong, but I think we've pretty much started the first of many of the series shots, so he'll be pretty much getting vaccinated on the AAP schedule.

After the appointment the day again blew by pretty quickly and before I knew it, Ryan was home from work. We had a few errands to run so we had a quick dinner out, picked up our rent check, a new battery for my car and decided to stop in the mall for a little shopping. As mentioned above Jude is getting bigger and so he's out growing a lot of his 0-3 month outfits. For some reason the stores feel it's necessary to put fall clothes out in the beginning of July, so it worked out in our favor as we picked up a few summer outfits at great prices!

Finally, after getting home it was time to face reality a little and get ready for my first day back to work. I got Jude's diapers and milk and my breast pump and parts ready for tomorrow and hung around on the couch for a bit.

I'm going to miss spending all my time with him...

Hopefully tomorrow will go well though.

Thrush

As if Jude's circumcision issues and jaundice weren't enough... I'm thinking we might be experiencing a mild case of thrush. (warning gentlemen there's some boobie talk ahead)

Let's first start by saying that breast feeding (as i've said before) was a breeze for the most part getting started. No soreness or anything - until this weekend. For a little while now (a week maybe) I've been freaking myself out about Jude maybe having thrush. I saw a white-ish film on his tongue and of course thanks to technology I took it upon myself to self-diagnose. According to my research, it was one of two things:

1. thursh - This option meant feedings were probably painful for Jude (aka cranky baby), and that if the white film was scratched off an irritated or bleeding surface would be exposed. Also, it would spread to other parts of his mouth (cheeks, gums, etc)

2. Breastmilk build up - basically the thicker hind-milk or spit up was coating his tongue and so if it was scratched, it'd come off easily exposing a normal surface. Typically this should fall off on it's own within an hour of his feedings.

Of course I went to town trying to scrub away at his tongue and when I scratched at it, a normal surface was exposed. Next I checked out the rest of his mouth and there did seem to be some other spots - but they looking more like dead skin cells than splotches. He was eating normally and doesn't seem in pain at all. BUT - it would last longer than an hour unless I tried to get it off myself. Very mixed signals. As i said, he didn't seem to be bothered at all and I have a doctor's appointment on Monday so I figured I'd just ask the doctor about it at my next visit.

Yesterday though I started experiencing some pain. I first thought that it was irritation because the day before I was trying to double-task while feeding Jude and so while he was sucking away he tugged a little hard. So when I woke up to semi-sore nipples I told myself I'd be keeping my butt on the couch while feeding him as I usually do to avoid this in the future. I followed all the advice to sooth sore nipples: lanolin cream, air drying, etc. It didn't seem to be helping (a little relief, but not 100%), so I again tried some self-diagnosing this morning and guess what popped up?? Thrush.

It described thrush in a mother as appearing as red, shiny, sore, cracked nipples. I pulled my little lady out and of course I fit the bill. It's a very common issue for babies and if untreated Jude and I could pass it back and forth between the two of us for quite some time.

I pretty much came to the thrush conclusion today and since tomorrow's Sunday I'm trying to decide whether to put in one of those "emergency" calls to the pediatrician tomorrow or hold off until Monday. Like I said, Jude seems perfectly fine - I'm the one uncomfortable and really I could pump tomorrow and bottle feed him for the day - or just suck it up and breast feed on my tender little ladies as I did today. I started a little water/vinegar treatment that's supposed to get rid of my side of the thrush, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Strawberry Fields Forever

1 Month (and check up)

June 5th Jude was one month! It's crazy how quickly time is flying by and how big he's getting!

Today we went to the doctor for his one month visit. He got one shot and in general just got checked out. He was 10 lbs 3.5 ounces and 22 inches long. When he was born, he was in the 25th percential and today he was weighing in the 50th. So, he's growing well.

What was interesting to me is that the nurse prac. told me that Jude should be on vitamins. I mentioned that he's exclusively breast fed, and should be getting everything he needs. Apparently though, the one thing breast milk doesn't provide is vitamin D.

However, she said that 'when' he's on formula he won't need vitamins. She assumed when I went back to work I'd be switching to formula. I mentioned I planned to pump and she just shrugged and continued. I asked if I should then supplement with one bottle of formula a day and she said he should be fine with just the vitamins. (anyone out there giving their infant vitamins??)

He had a hard time sitting up in the middle of the chair:

So we went with the side of the chair instead:

A New Cousin

Last week - June 3rd - my brother Kevin's wife had her baby. Jude now has his first cousin: Olivia. I believe she was about 6 lbs 4 ounces. Later this month we plan to make a trip down to NC. Originally it was for Jude to visit his mom-mom and pop-pop, but it looks like we'll be letting the kiddies meet.

A Party at Uncle Bryan's

This past weekend we went to a party at Bryan and Katy's house. Party was complete with moonbounce, slip n' slide and more!

Hypospadias Update

Today was a busy doctor day. We started early this morning with a visit to A.I. for Jude's hypospadias. Just yesterday I saw the last little piece of stitches fall off so was hopeful that he'd be able to check out was going on a little better.

Once all stripped down, he checked him out and said he does NOT have a hypospadias (insert confused 'why are we here' look)! I asked why they put him through the semi-circ, stitches and two doctor's visits if he doesn't have a hypospadias and he said it's not uncommon. Apparently sometimes the foreskin is so tight that when they pull back the skin it makes the hole look slightly off center. I wasn't entirely convinced, but was relieved that he was not going to need the surgery!

Then I was advised that in order to continue with the circumcision he'd need to be put under because of his age. I told Ryan it was his decision whether we were going to leave him uncircumsized or go through with the 'surgery' (circumcision) this November. His immediate response was 'go for it', but the thought of putting Jude under is just too much for me to make it that easy of a decision.

Our Final Decision on Vaccines

As you probably determined from the section above, we went forward with part two of the Hep B vaccine today. Basically I did some research on which vaccines are required for school and we will be getting those - without a doubt. Some I may be delaying, but obviously I'll need to get them. Since the Hep B was the only one scheduled for today we went with that one on time - I figured it made sense, since he was already 1/3 of the way there.

Some of the others, I've read, it's possible to spread out over a longer period of time and so over the next month I plan to research the shots on track for next month and determine if I'll postpone any.

Pretty much, as with almost anything else, there are a list of side effects for each vaccine. According to Dr Sear's book, spreading some of these out can reduce side effects which is something we're considering. I'm really wishing I had looked into this all BEFORE I had a child instead of making it up as I go.

Strawberry Picking (another 101 down!)

Today I went Strawberry picking with Katy and Bryan. Jude of course slept through the whole event. It was on my list of things to do so I recently went online to farm that offered pick your own. We went to Filasky's Produce in Middletown. It seemed to be a little early in the season, so there weren't A LOT to chose from, but we ended up with a decent bag full.

Uncle Bryan - Getting Married??

As I may or may not have mentioned, Bryan and Katy have been tossing around the "m" word a lot lately. Ideally I think they're looking for a 2010 fall wedding with a rustic edge and just a casual laid back good time. Originally Katy said she could really see them getting married at Milburn orchard. They hold weddings and it would fit their Fall decor ideas.

While looking around online one day I found the "figure 8 barn". Katy and Bryan seemed to think it was the perfect location and so they set up an appointment to go look at it. They asked me to go and I of course said yes!

I must say it's a pretty cool property!! It's not at all your typical wedding venue, but I'm sure with the ideas that Bryan and Katy are throwing out it could be an awesome spot for sure!!

Work Around the House:

Now that Ryan is done at Lowes, we have the opportunity to do some work around the house. This past Sunday I decided to fix up our front yard a little. I didn't want to put a lot of money into it and just wanted to clean up some of the over growth.

I mentioned to my brother that I wanted to pull up the azalea bushes across the front of the house and his face light up. He asked if he could do it and I said he was more than welcome to. I found out the reason he wanted to do it is because he wasn't going to just dig it out or cut them down, he wanted to pull them out by the root. How you might ask did he want to do that?? With Ryan's jeep of course.

While we were busy out front Ryan did a little work on the bathroom - wrapping up some electricity. There are so many projects in the works right now, but I'm excited that we're getting back at 'em.

Before:

Flower bed in the front yard:

Front of the house with all 4 bushes:

After:

Slightly manicured flower bed (I didn't want to get into flowers, just make it look a little more well-kept)

One bush gone, 3 to go.

Vaccines

I was recently around some women who for whatever reason chose to opt out of some standard vaccines for their newborn/infants. When I was in the hospital and transfered to my recovery room, one of the first pieces of paper I was faced with was information on the Hep B vaccine. I was told that they would be back the following morning to give the vaccine if I wanted Jude to have it, so they wanted me to have the information to look over in advance.

Now, I got into the room after a long day around what, 9 or 10 o'clock? I had a newborn in my hands and already probably wasn't going to get much sleep. Having not done my homework on any of this before hand, I agreed to the vaccine - I don't want Jude to get Hep B, right?? But at the same time I thought to myself, if it's so necessary and important, should they really give you a choice?

Well, after being around others who opted out of certain vaccines I did a little looking around. I know I'm coming up on Jude's 1 month visit and if I'm presented with any standard shots I want to at least be semi-informed on what he's getting (I mean Hep B is pretty straight forward, but some of the other names I have no clue what it's about).

During my research I found some scary stories. People who gave their child the 2nd shot in the Hep B series (a 3 part series) thinking, like I do/did, that it was standard and necessary. When they got home that night they put their child to sleep and they never woke up the next morning. You have to wonder how much is true, how often these things happen, etc. But, considering the only way Hep B is transfered is through sex, needles, and other bodily fluid sharing, you have to wonder why they're giving it to newborns? I mean he's not a ladies man yet and hopefully not a junkie (other than that, it really recommended for people who work in hospitals and people who live with someone who has it). From what I've gathered it's not unreasonable to wait until their immune system is a little more mature to start with the Hep B when there's less of a chance for side effects. What I got from my research is that the only reason they give newborns the first part of the vaccine in the hospital is because they know they can get them all there (and because drug addicts and prostitutes aren't lining up for it, so they have to market it somewhere). If they wait for parents to get the shot later, you risk losing infants who might not get their well visits and thus lose a big chunk of the population.

Either way, I'm currently on a mission to research the vaccines Jude will be presented with and to make a decision with Ryan on what's necessary and what's really just a ploy for the pharmaceutical companies to make more money (like polio??? who actually gets polio anymore??). For example there are apparently 2 or 3 vaccines that are presented together that all come with a high risk for seizures. The research I've done recommends that these three be spread out over a period of a few weeks to lower the risk (good to know!).

AND since I was very much in the dark, I'll try to post some information here that I might come across in regards to things we will/will not be giving Jude so that maybe others will have some information going in.

Hypospadias

Yesterday I took Jude to the pediatric urologist up at A.I. DuPont Children's Hospital.

Let me start by saying I've never been to A.I. but Ryan had been there quite a bit when he was a child. He was treated for hip problems and asthma there and had told me before how great of a hospital it was. In addition my younger brother Chad had been there previously for thrush. Again, my parents had told me how great the hospital was. Just pulling in the parking lot I could see why!

Out front is a HUGE fenced in play ground and signs for "free valet parking" (I didn't use the parking service, but nice to know it's there!). The surprises only got better as I walked in the door. They had a corral of baby wagons waiting in the lobby so you could load all the kiddies up and wheel them around.

When I went to meet the front desk to find out where I was supposed to go, so told me I needed to follow the signs for the "sunshine module". All of the areas were color coded in bright primary colors; it was precious.

Once I found the sunshine module I did a very brief check in - they had gotten most of my information over the phone when I called in to make the appointment. This was convenient compared to other offices because obviously with a baby in your arms, the last thing you want to do is juggle 10 pages of paperwork and a fussy child.

Not to mention everyone I talked to seemed to really enjoy what they do. They were all super friendly and eager to help in any way they could.

But now on to the reason for this blog: hypospadias.

Hypospadias is basically a fancy word for "off center pee-pee hole". Instead of the hole being at the tip it's off center and usually somewhere else along the shaft of the penis. Sometimes this can be as bad as all the way down towards the testicles, other times it can be as simple as being just slightly off center. Jude's is just slightly off center. It's so slight that the person doing the circumcision didn't notice it until she started the incision. Because she started the incision she had to stitch him back up. Basically the doctor performing the correction will need to use the foreskin to correct the problem and so continuing the circumcision would cause more problems.

The biggest problems associated with a hypospadias from what I gathered are the following:

1. Possible reproductive issues.

2. Instead of peeing a nice straight stream he'll do more of a 'spray'. Typically if you don't correct the problem the child can sit down to pee, but generally that causes developmental issues. For example a first grader not understanding why all his friends stand up. He could think something's wrong with himself - or worse people could make fun of him.

As of right now though, it's fine because he's in a diaper.

When I went in for the appointment the doctor insisted he see Jude pee (makes sense). I stripped him down and he stimulated him enough to get a stream. He said at this point with the stitches still healing, he couldn't really see the hypospadias, so needed to have him come back in 4 weeks.

In the mean time he told us to frequently try to get him to pee without a diaper on so that we can see it (don't most parents try to AVOID this?). Basically he said we want to make sure the stitches and foreskin are healing fine and not constricting the penis. He said it's not uncommon for the opening to close up a little making peeing painful and causing a "ballooning" of the foreskin (great!). He said he doesn't see this happening with Jude as the stitches are already almost healed and he seems to be peeing fine.

In addition he said that we need to rub A&D ointment on the little guy to help avoid the problem above. I told Ryan this was his job - as all things penis should be.

So, we'll be going back in a few weeks for a follow up. He said that typically what will happen once he confirms the hypospadias is that he'll need to go in for surgery around 6 months of age. he will need to be put under and they will correct the problem then. Correcting the problem includes basically poking a new hole in his penis and sealing up the old one. In my opinion it sounds super painful. I feel terrible for the little man.

But in the end, it was reassuring knowing that everything is healing fine and that we really won't have to worry about it again until November.

Jaundice

Over the past week Jude has been through quite a bit with his jaundice - I feel as thought I keep mentioning it, but haven't really given a run down of what exactly it means to us.

When we were discharged on Thursday last week he was given a biliblanket:

Basically this machine is plugged into the wall and the hose that attaches to the glowing part (as seen above) goes on Jude's back. The light works to get rid of the biliruben.

Jude was on the blanket Thursday night through Sunday. Each of those days we had a visiting nurse come out to our house to test Jude's biliruben levels by doing a heal prick. For the heal prick, they'd put a small slit in the heal of his foot and use the blood to fill a small tube to test. The nurse would then deliver the blood to the lab for testing and we'd get a call back later that night with the results.

We were told on Sunday his levels were low enough to come off the blanket, but that he need one last heal prick to make sure his numbers are still going down. When we went in on Monday to the lab for his heal prick, we received a phone call that night telling us that his numbers were slightly elevated and he needed to go back on the blanket. bummer.

Not that it was my fault, but I felt like kicking myself. I had thought originally when they called Sunday that maybe I should just keep him on his biliblanket until we get the results back from Monday's prick. It wouldn't hurt him and could only help. However, being excited to be able to move away from the wall I took him off per the doctor's orders. I kept thinking if I had stuck with my gut instinct it would have been over for sure on Monday morning.

Either way, he went back on Monday night and we went back in on Tuesday morning to the lab for another heal prick. It ended up working in our favor though because Jude was exactly 7 days old and was able to get his follow up newborn evaluation (this typically needs to be done within 7-28 days after birth). The evaluation needed to be done at the same lab at the heal prick and they needed to collect blood, so we got it all done at once.

Monday night I got a call around 5:30 from the doctor's office. I was on the phone at the time with our insurance company, so thought I'd just call them right back. Seconds after getting off the phone I called the office back and they were closed. They had left a message, but all it said was they were calling with the bili-levels. So I needed to call back the next morning.

Fast forward to about 9:30 last night. We were keeping him on the blanket but were curious to know what the results were. For some reason I picked up my phone and I had two missed calls even though I hadn't heard it ring. One was from the doctor's office at like 7:30pm. The message again was very vague "we're calling with Jude's bili-levels, they are fine, please call the office in the morning". Now I thought, define "fine". Does fine mean he can come off? Stay on but he hadn't gotten worse? The numbers had gone up, but still were not in dangerous territory?

Either way we kept him on through the night and called them first thing this morning.

Fine means: he's done with the bili-blanket, he's done with the heal pricks and the rental company can come pick up their machine. This is much more awesome news than Sunday because that means it's officially over, none of this "we'll still need to test him, but he should be ok" bull crap.

In addition to it being GREAT news in terms of Jude's health and our sanity as new parents, it's also great news because we got a call from the rental company yesterday telling us that insurance typically only covers the machine for so many days and we had reached that limit (they could submit an extension request but apparently they're typically refused). They were letting us know that any time we needed the machine past yesterday, would be coming out of our pocket. Obviously we'd do anything to keep him healthy no matter what the cost, but it was still unsettling not knowing when it would be over.

However, I called them first thing this morning that the lady I spoke to said "so you were done with the machine last night, right?" I said "well, yeah - the doctor called last night". Then she basically told me she'd put it down as being completed last night so that we wouldn't have to cover any of it! All in all some great news this morning!

Jude's test results (I'm not exactly sure what the numbers 'mean' but I know they're on a scale and depending on how many days old he is the tolerance level for the numbers goes up - so a baby who's a few days old can tolerate higher numbers than one JUST born - if that makes sense. Also, we were told if his numbers were too high he'd have to be hospitalized - but once they went below 12 he was off the machine):

Wednesday May 6th: 4.9

Thursday May 7th: 8.9

Friday May 8th: 13.1

Saturday May 9th: 13.8

Sunday May 10th: 12.5

Monday May 11th: 13.1

I didn't get yesterday's number, but it was below the 12 mark.

This is all wrapping up at JUST the right time, because tomorrow we go to see the pediatric urologist for his hypospadias. Apparently this will only be a consultation and he won't be treated for it until about 6 months - but it'll be nice to not have to focus on TWO issues at once.

My First REAL Sleep-less Night

Up until last night, Jude was a breeze. Sleeping well and waking up mostly just for feedings, etc. (Really, I would wake up more than him to make sure he was OK!)

However, somewhere between 4:30 and 8:30 last night he went on a hunger strike. Basically, I fed him at 4:30 and he ate very well. Around 6:30 I figured it was time for him to eat again. He latched on for a couple of minutes (no where near his typical 10-15) and he threw a fit. He wanted nothing to do with me. He did a little rooting but would not take to me. Instead, he sucked on my finger his fingers, or a pacifier and went back to sleep.

I tried around around 7, 7:30 8, 8:30. Each time he'd take a few sucks and stop. This was the same until some time in the wee early morning when he finally decided he was a little hungry. Right before he did finally eat, there were some gurgles in his belly and a big old Poo. The poor little man seemed to have a bit of an upset belly. In addition, i pumped to make the boobies a little softer for him.

Once he got it out, he ate much better. This morning he ate well at 7:30 and did his normal every two hours from there.

I discussed this at my pediatric appointment today (his weight check) and they said that as long as he's hydrated and eating it's nothing to be concerned with. I guess I expect him to get on a schedule (or at least be semi-predictable) but breast-fed babies just don't function that way.

Being that I was so concerned about his eating all night, I didn't get much sleep. Even though our pediatrician had told us before "don't wake a sleeping baby" during the night hours I couldn't help but want to get him to eat something. I tried every hour or so to get him to latch on and he just didn't want to. Meanwhile every time I tried it would set him into a fit and I'd have to calm him down again.

Better news though: at his weight check today, Jude was just 1/2 an ounce under his birth weight. We'll be going back next monday to make sure he's still gaining weight (basically they want to keep seeing him until he's at least at his birth weight). But he is well on his way.

Other News: Jude is currently struggling with a little Jaundice. Yesterday after our visiting nurse came out, we were told he could go off his biliblanket. Unfortunately when he went in to his check up today his numbers had gone up slightly so they wanted him back on. We have to go to the lab tomorrow to get re-checked, so I'm crossing my fingers he takes some big poos and gets some of the yellow out!

My Cinco de Mayo

Perhaps I should start this LONG blog somewhere around the end of May 4th. Laying in bed that night I of course had a million thoughts running through my head. I kept telling myself that I HAD to get some sleep, but it was much easier said than done.

The Night Before:

As I mentioned earlier, I was scared of delivery. Thinking about everything that was ahead of us the next day I started to get nervous. I had no idea what to expect in terms of delivery and no matter how excited I was to finally see him, I was scared. Really scared. I will be completely honest and tell you that I sat in bed and cried (not just cried, but big old baby tears); telling Ryan "I can't do this! I don't want to do this anymore!". I was not afraid of having a child, but of delivering a child. Being the logical person he is, Ryan reminded me that he has to come out SOME how at this point. Needless to say I was awake on and off all night and into the morning.

The Waiting Game:

We were expecting a call somewhere between 4am and 8am. We both slept until about 6am with the phone by our side. At that time we woke up and showered trying to make the morning as "routine" as we could. By 8 o'clock we had gotten a couple of calls from the family and friends asking for updates and we told them what we knew: nothing. At 8 o'clock, Ryan asked me if we thought we should call the doctor's office. I thought they had told me to wait to call their office until 9 o'clock and I was right, even at 8:20 the office was still closed so the waiting continued. Around 8:30 though we got a phone call from my doctor's office apologizing that they hadn't called yet but there were no open beds for patients being induced. I guess they need to keep so many available for mothers going into labor naturally and those with emergencies. Talk about disappointing!

I instantly thought they'd try to reschedule for the next day, but was surprised to find out that my doctor (Dr. Larkin) was working some insanely long shift (she told Ryan exactly how many hours and I was amazed) and would be there through the night and into tomorrow morning and so they would bring me in as soon as they had a bed available. They estimated that it'd be early afternoon sometime and that I should try to be as available as possible when they call. They also let me know that other than 2 women who were being induced for medical reasons, I was their first 'normal' induction on the list (sorry to any women out there who thought they'd get their Cinco de Mayo baby and were put on hold!) which was exciting that I wasn't just waiting to get through some long list of women for my chance.

Being that sitting around the house all morning seemed to be an impossible feat considering what was ahead of us we decided we'd try to run a few errands and get some breakfast at Bob Evan's. Since we were expecting to be delivering a child though, we didn't have any pressing things to do. I probably 'shouldn't' have been eating, but we didn't know when I was going in, which also meant we didn't know when I'd be able to eat again. As we finished paying and got in the car my phone rang and it was CCHS (the hospital) letting us know that there was a bed available and they'd like me there as soon as possible! EeK!

I remember the way they brought it up was like "do you think you can make it here in 15 minutes?" Almost like they expected us to be out of town or something. OF COURSE WE CAN MAKE IT THERE IN 15 MINUTES!

We ran home, grabbed the last of our stuff that wasn't already in the car and were on our way. My heart was beating about a million miles a minute and we were both beaming from ear to ear that it was finally here. We of course called our families as we were approaching the hospital and gave them all a heads up that I was going in and should have the baby by the end of the day or early the next morning! I really wanted the actual birth to be all about Ryan and I, so we didn't call our families until we got to the hospital, so we could check in without an entourage.

Let's Get Things Going:

Walking into the hospital around 10:45-11:00ish (?) I was still nervous, but also much more excited that SOMETHING was finally happening! I expected the check in process to be mind numbing and long, but it only took a couple of minutes until we were being sent up to the LND floor! We got into our room and the nurse was there waiting for us to get started.

After stripping down, they hooked me up to about a million different machines (my IV, blood pressure, fetal monitor, contraction monitor) and my doctor came in a few moments later to check me out. As I mentioned previously I was already dilated (4cm) and effaced (75%) so she went right on in and broke my water to get things going; what a weird and awkward feeling that was - not at all painful though, just weird. I remember when I was pregnant being afraid it would break and it would be painful - it wasn't - at all. It was so strange how much my stomach shrunk down just from releasing the fluids. Almost instantly after breaking my water there were minor little contractions coming every few minutes, but nothing I couldn't handle. Up until this point, I hadn't experienced any contractions, so it was interesting and new to (again) finally be progressing.

I had told the nurse before that I didn't want the Epidural until I felt I needed it, so I just sat there and took what came. None of it was too terrible (at first I could only feel my stomach tightening - no actual pain). After a little while it got to the point where I needed to relieve the pain a little by clenching my fist or focusing on something else, and knew that before long the pain would really be coming. I had never really had any traumatizing/painful experience before, so I'm a bit of a wimp. Labor was so scary to me, because I wasn't sure how I'd be able to handle the pain. It was fun to watch how "intense" they were on the monitor to see just how well I was handling it!

We had checked in around 11:00 and were probably all hooked up and rolling by 12:00...

Things are Really Rolling Now:

A little while later the pain became much more intense - Ryan had to hold my hand through it and we anxiously watched the monitor waiting for them to be done. So, I decided now was the time to ask for some relief - knowing it'd take a little time before I could actually get something (I wish I had times for all of this, but everything was seriously happening so fast that I don't even know at what time this happened - let's assume I asked for the epidural around 3:00ish??). Before long (maybe 20 minutes later) the anesthesiologist came in and it was time for the dreaded needle everyone talks about.

I had to sit on the edge of the bed with Ryan in front of me and my back to the doctor. I didn't even look at the needle thinking that it was probably for the best to not really know what was coming - you hear so many horror stories. There was one initial prick which was basically just numbing and a second after that, which actually placed the catheter. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected! After placing the catheter they gave a 'test' medicine which would determine if the tube was placed in the right spot. Typically the responses they're looking for that would potentially mean it was wrong are light headed-ness, funny bone reactions in your legs, etc. Within seconds I was super light headed and felt like at any moment I could pass out. Before I knew it I could feel some warm feeling going down my back. Apparently they had hit a blood vessel and needed to re-place the catheter. At this point my back was already still numb from the first prick and the contractions were getting worse (we had to wait for a contraction to pass before they would try again), so the second needle for the new catheter was no problem at all. Almost instantly I felt relief except for a little bit of a "pang" (is that a word?) of pain on the lower right hand side of my abdomen.

I let the nurse know about the minor pain and she said that it's normal to feel a little bit of pressure. Compared to the contractions this was nothing. We trucked right on through and I believe at some point during the epidural period Ryan went down and gave everyone a heads up that I had the epidural and things were rolling. When he came back up, he had a couple of gifts from some of our family. The thing that stands out most is "raw clyde". It was a dancing/singing stuffed cactus from my brother. I remember assuming this was a gift from him for his nephew, but he said he knew how nervous I was and it was actually a gift for me: to make me smile.

Here He Comes!

Shortly after the epidural was given and we had a little time to kind of sit around and wait I started to feel the sharp pain on my lower right hand side a little stronger (we'll say it was close to 5:00 now). With each contraction I could feel it more and I knew that it wasn't a good sign. Once or twice they hit the little button that gives the epidural a boost, but I insisted that it wasn't doing anything. Ryan called my nurse in and she checked me and called the anesthesiologist back in. When she was leaving she mentioned that she'd like to do it now to make sure I get relief before I'm 10 cm - because after that, there was no time for adjusting. I'm not exactly sure what he (the epidural man) did (I know he changed a cord of some sort) but it worked fairly quickly and the pain was subsiding. Almost minutes after he left my nurse came in and asked how I was feeling. I told her it felt much better and that I should be fine now - what pain I had felt, was pretty much gone. I could still feel the pressure of the contractions though and was very in tune with my body and when contractions were coming and going.

Around that time my doctor poked her head in and checked me again. We asked her for a update so Ryan could run down and let everyone know where we stood and she said "oh, she's 10 cm - we're ready to push". Needless to say, he didn't get a chance to let everyone know!

When she said "you're ready to push" I expected to have the bed transformed into a more typical OB GYN bed with the leg supports and butcher paper, but none of that happens. Ryan stood to the left of me, the nurse to the right and my doctor sat at the end of the bed. It was not at all what you'd expect after years of movie watching. The lights were dimmed (from earlier) and it was all very relaxing.

As my doctor sat down at the end of the bed she told me that it should be a quick delivery because he was RIGHT there (she asked if I'd like to see in a mirror and I graciously declined) and ready to go - this was all around 6:15 or so. When the next contraction hit they let me know to start pushing and I got some great words of encouragement telling me that everything was going great. I remember being told I was a pushing champion and most of the time they didn't even need to tell me to push. As I said, I felt very in tune with what was going on that without anyone telling me, I just felt like I knew when to push.

In between contractions it was like a bizarre experience. We all relaxed (well, I did - the nurse and doctor - and even Ryan -were so mellow the whole time) and held random conversation. One specific conversation was Ryan and my doctor talking about Batman (Ryan was wearing one of his many batman t-shirts and the doctor was saying her son was a huge fan). It was so strange, but reassuring and soothing (if that makes sense). I was afraid of tearing or need to be cut, so at one point I even asked how things were going in that area. My doctor said I was stretching perfecting and it didn't look like I'd need any stitches. If things hadn't been so relaxing, I would have been worried something would go wrong. It just gave me that feeling that everything was going just fine and any second I'd hear my little guy crying. Boy could I have been any more correct. After only about 30-35 minutes of pushing he was out and in my arms.

No matter how aware I was that I was pregnant and we were going to be having a child it was still such a strange and exciting moment to finally get to hold him in my arms. He was perfect and so adorable. I'm sure every parent thinks that their baby is the cutest thing ever, but I'm totally convinced he is the most precious.

After-Birth Stuff

I remember watching specifically when Ryan cut the cord, but I honestly have no idea what happened 'down there' after I had him in my arms. I did very little to deliver the placenta and the doctor/nurses did all my cleaning up and such. I was so wrapped up in taking in every second of those first few minutes with my precious baby boy that any thing else going on around me was not important.

I only vaguely remember getting my couple of stitches from his premature arm. I saw the needle and thread going and asked what was happening. My doctor informed me that he had his little hand up by his ear and that cause a small tear, but nothing serious.

After they took him away with Ryan shortly after for his weight and everything else, I got disconnected from all my monitors and then Ryan being the super proud dad he is/was made a bee-line for the waiting room with camera in hand to spread the word that Jude Michael was finally here! I on the other hand sat there hold my little baby boy. Ryan wasn't there and the nurses were tending to their post-delivery duties. I remember he was crying at one point and I felt so incapable of caring for him. What should I do? What does he need? Do these women think I'm already a terrible mother? I had taken class after class at the hospital, but felt more unprepared then ever for those first few moments.

Before he was born, I felt confident I could get him latched on and sucking all on my own, but sitting there in the delivery room, I asked for help. The nurse - a young and very friendly girl dropped what she was doing to come help. I can't remember the details of it, but I know he latched on and even though I didn't feel like a professional, things no longer seemed as intimidating.

As I said, Jude was crying those newborn tears at first, but not too long after, he was wide awake and alert, taking in everything going on around him. His deep blue eyes heavy from his big day were yearning to stay awake, not wanting to miss one second of this new world.

After getting everything settled in our delivery room, we were told it'd be a little while before we'd be escorted down to our room we'd be staying in, so Ryan started to usher people up to LND a few at a time to meet Jude. That of course happened so quickly and before we knew it we were in the recovery room and completely unaware of how to take care of such a small baby.

All I wanted to do after having Jude was hold him and look into his beautiful blue eyes. Having guests come up and hold him and coo at him was wonderful, but at the same time overwhelming. We had all had a long day, so it was a bit of a relief to hear that visiting hours were over and once we went to our room, Ryan and I could really have a chance to take it all in.

Stay tuned for "Hospital Adventures" and "The First Few Days at Home"...

*** this post was edited slightly 1/21/10.