Drinking

I think it's PRETTY safe to say that I have not REALLY drank in about a year. Not very long after we got married we started to try to get pregnant and so I feel like it was constantly in the back of my head that I need to be careful if it did happen. Last summer was probably the first in a series of summer that I remained on the sober side of things. Not to mention my drinking-partner-in-crime was pregnant, so what was the point??

I thought for sure that it'd be something I missed, but really I haven't. There were of course those days where I felt like the miserable old wench who was telling her husband he couldn't have fun, because I couldn't (or because I could deliver our child any minute). Or the days I really could just go for a frozen margarita. Or the days that I felt like the old lady at a young and hip party. But for the most part I was fine being in a party/drinking environment and being the sober one.

After having Jude I began breast feeding and as I'm sure most first time breast feeders are, I was worried about skipping sessions and just unsure how much alcohol really got into my milk (even after I was sober). I remember distinctly one small party we had at our house where I had like 1 drink and didn't feel comfortable feeding Jude so gave him a bottle of our frozen milk instead. After feeding him I was worried that my boobs would get too full or "off schedule" so mid-party I pumped about what he would have ate and just threw it down the drain. Since then I've relaxed a little and have realized that skipping one feeding here and there really won't do much of anything. However, I still like to keep myself pretty clean if I know that Jude will be eating soon. Specifically, if people are beginning to drink and I know he'll be hungry in the next 20-30 minutes I'll hold off until he's done.

In addition to the issue of feedings, I just am worried about getting drunk or tipsy, being up late and not feeling 100% the next morning when I'll have to take care of Jude. I know I could function, but I guess I just want to give him all of me, all the time. When really I'd probably go insane if I didn't take a night for myself every now and then.

Last night Ryan was in the mood for a beer and I wanted to drink a little something myself. I got one of my old favorites: cosmo mix and vodka. After feeding Jude what I knew/expected to be his last feeding of the night, I felt pretty comfortable putting a couple back.

I fully expected to be wasted after just one drink, but surprisingly it didn't kick in much at all! I had I think about 4 drinks - which probably balances out to 4 heavy shots. By the end of number 4 I was feeling pretty good. It was no where near the crazy times we've had in the past, but it was nice to let lose a little after so long.

Even thought I didn't feel too drunk that night when heading off to bed, wake up at 4am was a little rough. I had the most terrible vodka-taste in my mouth and the slightest hint of a headache. After a little nap though, I bounced back quite nicely.