The Diaper-free Baby

The diaper free baby, Elimination Communication and the ooddles of other titles out there all have the same idea: an infant who doesn't need diapers/uses few diapers because of an understanding between child and parent - mostly though the parent's ability to read the child.

A lot of things I read compare it to breast feeding in the sense that like breast feeding you learn your child's cues and feed on demand as opposed to bottle feeding where you feed on a schedule. With a diaper free baby, you are on their schedule and look for their cues as opposed to changing them when you have a free moment.

A description:

Elimination communication (EC) is a toilet training practice in which a caregiver uses timing, signals, cues, and intuition to address an infant's need to eliminate waste. Typically the goal is to partially or completely avoid the use of diapers. EC emphasizes communication between the caregiver and child, helping them both become more attuned to the child's innate rhythms and control of urination and defecation. The term "elimination communication" was inspired by traditional practices of diaper-less baby care in less industrialized countries and hunter-gatherer cultures.^[1] Some practitioners of EC begin soon after birth, although it can be started with babies of any age.

Babies don't have accidents, they have "misses" and they're not potty trained, you're trained as a parent to know when to take them. You will still have to transition to them being potty trained later in life and tell you "I need to go". Typically though, from what I've gathered the transition is much more smooth in that they're used to being taken to a toilet and eventually with a diaper free baby, they can begin to sign that it's time to go.

Now if you're anything like me, you're reading this and thinking "what has this world come to - people are insane! I could never imagine this ever working or wanting it to work".

When I first heard about it, I thought it was just flat out weird. The more I got to thinking about it, I could see why someone would do it, but just never imagined it being something I'd want to try. I mentioned it around that time to Ryan, and he agreed it just sounded... different.

Then one day being bored (and probably after putting yet another load of dirty diapers in the wash), I decided to look it up and do a little more research. I browsed around online and while I still wasn't 100% sold on it, it didn't sound as far off base. But knowing Ryan would never go for it, I assumed it still wasn't something we'd ever do. Until the other night.

Ryan and I were sitting on the couch and jokingly I said "I'm going to start potty training Jude". I specifically said it because I thought he'd tell me I'd fallen victim to the earthy/yuppy world and that he'd lost me forever, but that wasn't his response at all. Instead he said "go for it". I looked at him with questioning eyes and said "seriously?" and he basically said "if it gets him out of diapers, why not?".

I've been milling it over in my head for a couple of days now and thought that it won't hurt to give it a try. Either way he'll pee/poop. If I'm not into it, I can just stop. If I give up early on, it shouldn't confuse him at all. Especially since there are people who only do it part time. Also, Jude is an irregular pooper and I've read that it helps with that (I haven't quite figured out how...) so it could be beneficial??

From what I've gathered there are two key times to focus on: right when they wake up and after feedings. Other than that, you need to focus on cues and timing for the in between times. I was also told keeping him naked would help to keep a better eye on things until you became more aware of when he'd need to go.

I planned to start first thing this morning. I told myself I'd wake up with Jude and put him on the potty just to see what happens. Typically babies don't pee while in a deep sleep, but instead right after they wake. That didn't happen though. I was snuggled in bed and Ryan brought Jude into me for his morning feeding, so figured "eh, maybe tomorrow". I was slightly disappointed in myself for putting it off, but about 30 minutes later when he mysteriously peed out of his diaper, all over himself and me, I decided it was a sign.

I bathed him, put a nice warm shirt on and busted out with some of his waterproof mattress pads. I really didn't know what to look for, so figured I'd keep him naked and just pay close attention. Of course, he peed within 20 minutes and I thought I'd missed my chance. But about 25 minutes later he went again. So, I was starting to get an idea...

I layed him down to play and roughly 20 minutes later DING DING DING - another missed opportunity. He was starting to get mildly fussy and it was time for a nap. I kept him naked and held him the whole time - no accidents. Right when he started to wake up, I took him to the potty. I was thrilled when he PEED IN THE POTTY! I made my "psssss"ing sound as he was going and was so proud (of him and I).

I layed him back down to play and figured we'd see what happened in the next 20 minutes. Within 5 minutes he peed again - on the mattress pad :( So much for a routine...

I should probably keep some sort of log as I'm beginning the lose track of time, but since then he's gone one more time in the potty (after a few seconds of me sitting there waiting for it to happen) and then when he didn't go about 25 minutes later, I put a diaper on him because he felt cold and I wanted him bundled up.

Right after layering him up though, he ate and fell asleep. I'll see if I can get him stripped down quick enough when he wakes up. If not I'll say the first attempt was fairly successful and try again tomorrow.

I'm still not totally convinced it's for us... the cold weather and him being naked here in the beginning will be challenging... and every 20-25 minutes is a lot of potty time... and I'm thinking none of the pants we just bought will fit without diapers on. But I'll see how the next couple of days go.

I told Ryan I'd start on it through the day and that once I discovered a routine or cue I'd fill him in and he could begin doing it when he's alone with Jude. I think we'll first start with Ryan taking him in the morning if he wakes up before he leaves for work... but that's just getting into details that only apply if we keep going with it.

I called Ryan after he went earlier and he was surprised I actually did it. He of course made fun of it and when I told him I was only going to do it if he was on bored he said he was all for it and was only giving me a hard time... so we'll see.

If nothing else it'll save me a load or two of diapers over the next couple of days - but I'll be making up for it in soiled mattress pads..