Diaper Free Progress II

Question: are you still EC'ing? If so, how's that going?

Answer: I think the safest and most honest answer would be no. I do not track his pees, I don't time him, look for cues or go extended periods of time without a diaper on him.

If he's having some naked time, then I will plop him on the potty to see if there's anything happening. If I have him ready for a bath or something, I'll plop him on the toilet to see if he's got anything going on. But that's about it.

I really think if it were warmer out, I would have been much more successful. I wouldn't have felt as bad about having Jude hang around in nothing but a t-shirt all the time and I might have been a little more inclined to try ECing outside of the home. But really, taking off all his layers just to find that he's already peed in his diaper is a real hassle. Our time at home always went pretty well. I had his timing pretty down and it worked well for us, but of course the 'misses' sucked. I'd have to spot clean the rug and that just got old. Towards the end I just felt like I was raising a puppy again.

I think that we were so successful at first because I wanted it to work! I was all into it in the beginning and so I was on top of him all the time to make it work. But slowly it lost it's luster.

Then in addition to wet diapers, there are dirty diapers. Jude was never a really constant pooper and when he did release, I think he may have been mildly constipated. Recently though he's come out of that a bit and seems to be going the same time every day (at like 7:00 in the morning - ugh). If he continues with his regular poos, I might try to make a regular potty trip out of it. I really don't know...

All of that being said, I am considering trying to potty train him at one. Again, this will all depend on how he accepts it, but it's another thing that has struck me as a possibility. But really, we're in no huge rush to get him out of diapers. There's no cost (aside from the laundry) for us having Jude in diapers, so it's not like we need to rush through the diaper phase to save a bundle of money. But of course - not washing diapers is a very nice thought.

...the end of cloth diapers as we know it

I will say that tonight was not the first... but it was the most significant "solid" poop we've had.

Since Jude really only plays with his solid foods, we haven't had to deal with many of the really solid poops. In the very beginning of him eating solids, he had consumed a good bit at one sitting and the next morning I heard a very distinct "thud" and knew I would be changing a solid diaper.

Tonight I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was flapping around on the ground having a good old time. Then all the sudden he got very quiet and then I heard this sound coming from him I'd never heard before. It was like a choking/straining/concentrating sound. I honestly thought at first that he was choking on something. I quickly went over an inventory of items that may have been on the floor around him as I ran over to scoop him up....

Then I smelt it. The undeniable scent of baby poo. But not the baby poo we had come to love and appreciate... the other kind. The kind that is almost human, but for the sake of keeping yourself sane and not getting grossed out that you're in fact touching human poo, you still consider it 'baby poo'.

Since I had scooped him up mid-grunt, I was under the impression he wasn't finished. He seemed to be between grunts, so I took that opportunity to strip off his diaper and sit him on his potty. Jack Pot. He lets out a little groan and boom - a loose log in the hopper!

Luck for me, Ryan was just walking in the door. He had run out to grab a drink while this whole episode was taking place. I quickly came up with a reason why I just HAD to get out of the bathroom (I rambled out a sentence about ravioli and boiling water and left the boys to be). It didn't take him long to realize that there was in fact poo in the toilet and a dirty diaper not too far away.

After Ryan got Jude cleaned up, he was putting the dirty diaper in the laundry room pail and I caught him and explained that we had reached the end of cloth diaper as we know it. He couldn't simply toss the diaper into the pail, log-style poos required scraping. They required a tool. They required him to take said tool, stand over the toilet and plop the goods into the bowl. He was less than pleased. Ryan has a very strong phobia of all things that come OUT of the human body (blood, poop, pee, vomit, etc) and just was not ready for this - which is why I passed Jude off.

Really I only told him to do it because I wanted to get a good laugh. Reluctantly he grabs the diaper and heads into the bathroom with a scrapper in hand. Before I even hear a plop, there's a series of gags, some spiting and a "I give up! I'm throwing it away! We're getting disposables!" Meanwhile I'm in the kitchen with tears in my eyes I'm laughing so hard. When he comes in seriously ready to throw Jude's $17.99 diaper into the trash I tell him I'll take care of it and that I just wanted to see how far he'd get. I was proud that he even gave it an honest effort and hope that he has a new appreciation for his wife who has no problem scraping and cleaning poopy diapers.

In addition to all of this, we BOTH have a new appreciation for our efforts with elimination communication.

You SHOULD be embarrassed!

Diaper Free Progress

Around this time last week, I began the diaper free journey. To say "diaper free" is a bit of a stretch for me. I have no current intentions of going diaperless with Jude, but instead cut back on the number of diapers he does use by catching it when I can.

To this point my focus has been on only monitoring him closely while at home. I haven't thought about how I'd like to tackle diaper free in public places yet, so figured we'd get him on a routine at home.

Typically when I wake up in the morning I take Jude's diaper off and he roams the house bare bottomed with me. For the most part while doing this we have VERY few misses! I've noticed that he's a PRETTY scheduled baby and seriously goes just about ever 25 minutes! In the event that I take him at 25 minutes and he does go, then I usually wait another 5-10 or look for a fussy moment. Either of these are pretty good indicators that it's time to go again.

Jude does not pee while napping/in a deep sleep and so as soon as he wakes up for a nap, I give him a minute or two and off to the potty we go. It has worked every time!

The few misses that we do have are typically when he goes minutes after going last time and so I'm assuming he just didn't get it all out?

In addition to pee, Jude has pooped on the toilet 3-4 times. Not only is this amazing because at one point he was pooping once a week, but because he has not had a dirty diaper since we started!

While Ryan has not totally given himself to the diaper free challenge, he has taken Jude a few times and always seems so satisfied (with himself and Jude) when he actually goes.

Kenya feel me

At Lowes, there's a guy there who is from Kenya! To him, this isn't nearly as big a deal as it is to me, but it's fun to talk to him as some of what he's experienced/used to is so different from what's the norm around here.

For example, we had a discussion about Halloween. He had never heard of it and so seemed so confused when I tried to explain it. Think about it... how weird would it sound to hear that people put on costumes and walk around to collect candy?

Anyway, today he asked me how Jude was doing. He has a son of his own back in Kenya and so was asking what new things he was doing. Crawling? Teeth? etc. I told him about the Diaper Free thing I was trying and he totally 'got it'. He was telling (in broken english - I only understand so much of what he says) me how in Africa, there are the "north" and the "south". The people in the south are more old school and live in caves, etc. He said that they too train their children from a very young age to use the bathroom. However, in the city where he lives, the use diapers like the rest of the industrialized world.

It was very interesting!

Also, I thought I'd throw out the final stats for Jude from his first day:

3 misses
1 hit
1 miss
2 hits
a couple of misses while I was out of the house
1 hit

I'm not sure if that 100% accurate, but I know he went 5 times on the potty (there may have been more misses). As I was leaving for work, we put a diaper on him and I'm pretty sure Ryan didn't do anything.

The Diaper-free Baby

The diaper free baby, Elimination Communication and the ooddles of other titles out there all have the same idea: an infant who doesn't need diapers/uses few diapers because of an understanding between child and parent - mostly though the parent's ability to read the child.

A lot of things I read compare it to breast feeding in the sense that like breast feeding you learn your child's cues and feed on demand as opposed to bottle feeding where you feed on a schedule. With a diaper free baby, you are on their schedule and look for their cues as opposed to changing them when you have a free moment.

A description:

Elimination communication (EC) is a toilet training practice in which a caregiver uses timing, signals, cues, and intuition to address an infant's need to eliminate waste. Typically the goal is to partially or completely avoid the use of diapers. EC emphasizes communication between the caregiver and child, helping them both become more attuned to the child's innate rhythms and control of urination and defecation. The term "elimination communication" was inspired by traditional practices of diaper-less baby care in less industrialized countries and hunter-gatherer cultures.^[1] Some practitioners of EC begin soon after birth, although it can be started with babies of any age.

Babies don't have accidents, they have "misses" and they're not potty trained, you're trained as a parent to know when to take them. You will still have to transition to them being potty trained later in life and tell you "I need to go". Typically though, from what I've gathered the transition is much more smooth in that they're used to being taken to a toilet and eventually with a diaper free baby, they can begin to sign that it's time to go.

Now if you're anything like me, you're reading this and thinking "what has this world come to - people are insane! I could never imagine this ever working or wanting it to work".

When I first heard about it, I thought it was just flat out weird. The more I got to thinking about it, I could see why someone would do it, but just never imagined it being something I'd want to try. I mentioned it around that time to Ryan, and he agreed it just sounded... different.

Then one day being bored (and probably after putting yet another load of dirty diapers in the wash), I decided to look it up and do a little more research. I browsed around online and while I still wasn't 100% sold on it, it didn't sound as far off base. But knowing Ryan would never go for it, I assumed it still wasn't something we'd ever do. Until the other night.

Ryan and I were sitting on the couch and jokingly I said "I'm going to start potty training Jude". I specifically said it because I thought he'd tell me I'd fallen victim to the earthy/yuppy world and that he'd lost me forever, but that wasn't his response at all. Instead he said "go for it". I looked at him with questioning eyes and said "seriously?" and he basically said "if it gets him out of diapers, why not?".

I've been milling it over in my head for a couple of days now and thought that it won't hurt to give it a try. Either way he'll pee/poop. If I'm not into it, I can just stop. If I give up early on, it shouldn't confuse him at all. Especially since there are people who only do it part time. Also, Jude is an irregular pooper and I've read that it helps with that (I haven't quite figured out how...) so it could be beneficial??

From what I've gathered there are two key times to focus on: right when they wake up and after feedings. Other than that, you need to focus on cues and timing for the in between times. I was also told keeping him naked would help to keep a better eye on things until you became more aware of when he'd need to go.

I planned to start first thing this morning. I told myself I'd wake up with Jude and put him on the potty just to see what happens. Typically babies don't pee while in a deep sleep, but instead right after they wake. That didn't happen though. I was snuggled in bed and Ryan brought Jude into me for his morning feeding, so figured "eh, maybe tomorrow". I was slightly disappointed in myself for putting it off, but about 30 minutes later when he mysteriously peed out of his diaper, all over himself and me, I decided it was a sign.

I bathed him, put a nice warm shirt on and busted out with some of his waterproof mattress pads. I really didn't know what to look for, so figured I'd keep him naked and just pay close attention. Of course, he peed within 20 minutes and I thought I'd missed my chance. But about 25 minutes later he went again. So, I was starting to get an idea...

I layed him down to play and roughly 20 minutes later DING DING DING - another missed opportunity. He was starting to get mildly fussy and it was time for a nap. I kept him naked and held him the whole time - no accidents. Right when he started to wake up, I took him to the potty. I was thrilled when he PEED IN THE POTTY! I made my "psssss"ing sound as he was going and was so proud (of him and I).

I layed him back down to play and figured we'd see what happened in the next 20 minutes. Within 5 minutes he peed again - on the mattress pad :( So much for a routine...

I should probably keep some sort of log as I'm beginning the lose track of time, but since then he's gone one more time in the potty (after a few seconds of me sitting there waiting for it to happen) and then when he didn't go about 25 minutes later, I put a diaper on him because he felt cold and I wanted him bundled up.

Right after layering him up though, he ate and fell asleep. I'll see if I can get him stripped down quick enough when he wakes up. If not I'll say the first attempt was fairly successful and try again tomorrow.

I'm still not totally convinced it's for us... the cold weather and him being naked here in the beginning will be challenging... and every 20-25 minutes is a lot of potty time... and I'm thinking none of the pants we just bought will fit without diapers on. But I'll see how the next couple of days go.

I told Ryan I'd start on it through the day and that once I discovered a routine or cue I'd fill him in and he could begin doing it when he's alone with Jude. I think we'll first start with Ryan taking him in the morning if he wakes up before he leaves for work... but that's just getting into details that only apply if we keep going with it.

I called Ryan after he went earlier and he was surprised I actually did it. He of course made fun of it and when I told him I was only going to do it if he was on bored he said he was all for it and was only giving me a hard time... so we'll see.

If nothing else it'll save me a load or two of diapers over the next couple of days - but I'll be making up for it in soiled mattress pads..