Where has the time gone?

I often wonder at what point your baby becomes your toddler... when does you toddler become a child? a teenager? an adult? Is it those milestone birthdays?

For someone you don't see every day, these transformations happen in segments. You see the infant grow into an adult in pieces at thanksgivings, Christmases and Birthdays. Then, before you know it, you're marveling over how quickly the time has gone. I'm currently doing this with my younger siblings. One is about 10 years younger and the other 15 years younger. I see them every now and then and always catch myself wondering when the little kid who used to tag along behind us turned into this rebellious teenager. I remember at the rehearsal dinner for my wedding, my brother Scott was standing next to me. For some reason I looked down and realized he was not standing on the curb next to us. He was in fact standing on the same level ground I was. However, somehow in a matter of a couple of months he had grown a whole head taller than me.








It then makes me wonder about my own child. At what point will he come running into my room in the morning without the soft round features of a child? Or even worse, at what point will he just not run into my room in the morning? When will those hugs. Those deep, amazing, loving hugs disappear? When will he start to be embarrassed at the thought of HUGGING HIS MOTHER IN PUBLIC? At what point will he not want to nap on me? But instead will prefer the solitude of his bedroom. Perhaps even locking the door behind him so that I can't creep in just to watch him peacefully sleep? When will the nursery become his bedroom - and eventually be plastered with posters and other relics of his interests?

Already, it feels like he's been part of our family forever... while other times it seems like just yesterday he was born.







At what point in his life will it come time to pack up all of his toys and eventually turn his bedroom into just another guest room... in what will be an over sized home for just Ryan and I?




What about making him laugh? Everything I do makes him laugh... he laughs just because I laugh. He laughs at the dog running down the steps. But even I know that eventually... I won't be funny to him.






Every day I look forward to discovering new pieces of Jude's personality - his attitude, his taste, his cuddly-ness. I look forward to seeing the types of friends HE choses for himself, instead of the ones that we chose for him. But, it's times when I sit here and wonder about his future that I try to hold on to who he is today too. It's times like today that I want to hold him instead of holding his hand while he tries to wabble around. That instead of going for a run, I sit on the couch and let him nap in my arms. That I don't regret the decision to let him sleep with us in bed - and that I'm grateful for the times that he lets me carry him. It's times like today that I put the camera away and instead of making a memory through film, I'm making a real memory.






The past couple of weeks I have been filling every waking hour with preparations for Jude's first birthday. Finishing touches on the house, landscaping the front yard and deciding on details for the party. But I think about it and wonder if I'm just filling this time to avoid the truth. My son is turning one. The first year of his life is quickly coming to a close. This first year, he has probably learned and experienced more for the first time than he will for the rest of his many years to come. He has more than doubled in weight, acquired a variety of motor skills, is beginning to communicate and recognizes those people who chose to make themselves a significant part in his life. While his future holds an endless amount of possibility, I'm pretty sure this first year is the most significant part of his future. I'm so thankful that I've had the opportunity to spend this time with him.







But even though I'm nervous about the future... about growing beyond this period of infancy, I'm excited. I'm excited to see the person he becomes and the interests that he has. I look forward to teaching him more and watching him grow.






And yes, I'm even looking forward to his teen years. The years where I'm sure I'll want to pull my hair out and scream. I look forward to reading back over these blog entries and thinking about all of the things that he's done. How our family has matured and become complete with him.






As I say every month, I wish I could just bottle up a little bit of this 11-12 month old Jude. The Jude who just the other day was peacefully sipping away from a cup on the floor - and then I walked in the door. He threw the cup and if one can 'run' while they crawl, he ran, to me.





This Jude who is learning what things are and how they work. He loves using 'real' things. By real things, I mean things that grown ups use. He'll get his own screw driver while Ryan's working and mimic him. He'll grab his own wash cloth and dust like mommy. He'll try to figure out how to hook the hose back up to pop-pop's nail gun - because he knows it won't work without it.




Our outside time is teaching him new things too. He helps me pull weeds, he throws rocks and he eats strawberries (that aren't quite ripe) right off the bushes.




At one year, he has eaten at least 1 pound of dirty, but when tempted with a cupcake at his 1st birthday photos, he didn't want anything to do with it.

He still sucks his thumb, he still nurses and he still fondles my breasts as a source of security. He goes to sleep easily at night, but some how he know JUST when we're going to bed, because he begins to stir in his room to indicate that he wants to be in bed with us.

He says "what's that?" points and says "that" when he wants something and is just all together amazing. I look forward to the next year and can not wait to see what that brings for us.

But for now? I have a birthday cake to decorate :)

Side note: I'll be posting Jude's 12 month toy box picture later.

reviews

You hear all the time that all babies like different things. Some parents never use some items that other parents seem to swear by. Likewise child #1 may hate something that child #2 (in the same family) loved. For anyone who’s interested, he’s a little comprehensive list of things I loved/hated and just found to be useful in the last 2+ months with baby #1. I’m sure over time my opinion of certain items may change – next time around I might hate it, but as of right now, here’s where it stands.

Also, some of this I may have posted previously in random posts, but here it is, all together and perhaps with a little detail.


Never Used/Use:

Bottle warmer – Never came out of the box. I just put it in a storage box the other day. His milk comes out at the right temperature and when I use pumped milk, it’s just as easy to run it under warm water.
Swing – I’ve heard this is one of the big “my child loves it/hates it” items. My child disliked it. Recently we used it a couple of time for a few minutes, but it never gets used for long periods of times – it was not worth the price.
Dishwasher baskets – another item that was thrown into storage recently unopened.
Bumpers – When creating the nursery, we didn’t buy one of those large bundles from babies r us that has the whole bedding set. I found a quilt at potterybarn.com on clearance with airplanes and we coordinated the room around it – I was really trying to avoid a cookie-cutter nursery (same wall art as every other nursery, same border as every other nursery, etc) that he’d outgrow too quickly. They had matching bumpers that we bought also, but they came out after 1 or 2 nights of Jude sleeping in his crib. Considering they were pretty cheap I don’t regret buying them too much (as I have recently seen you can make a million things with them!) but in the future I would skip them and just get a quilt again or some other item to have as the inspiration for his room.
Rocking Chair – This I was hesitant to put in this category. Our rocking chair was passed down to me from my grandmother… it apparently was my great, great grandmother’s and so has a little special meaning (not that I knew her, but still). It fits well in Jude’s “reading corner” and I’m sure down the road it may get used more, but currently if I had put money out for it, it would have been a total waste.
Spit Up Sheet Protector – these apparently are made so that you don’t have to wash your sheets as frequently. I had it on before Jude was born, he spit up on it and I never put it back on. It was just as easy in my opinion to change the sheet. These tie onto the crib rails and so if your crib is up against the wall, you have to move the crib out from the wall every time you change them.
Bibs – No matter how practical, I never used them. His outfits are too cute to cover up sometimes. Plus, he has so much clothing I didn’t mind costume changes mid-day if they got messy.


Couldn’t Live without:

Bouncie seat – He loves it. It’s light and small enough that we take it outside when we doing yard work, move it in the kitchen while cooking, sit him in it when he’s awake/looking around, etc.
Bum Genius Diapers – This is really a personal opinion, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE using cloth diapers – specifically the BG 3.0’s. I got so much kick back when I told people I was using them about how it wouldn’t last, etc., but it had to have been one of the BEST decisions we made. They seem like they’d be much more comfortable, much smarter financially, etc. After my experience I don’t think I would EVER use disposables again. To this day I love when people who once thought it wouldn’t last ask me how “using those cloth diapers is going” and I can reply “great!”.
Medela Pump in Style Breast Pump – Another big ticket item that I couldn’t live without. Especially now that I’m back to work, this is obviously one of the most handy and regularly used items. Even before pumping at work though, it was very handy for full breasts in the morning or just to pump some extra to have in the freezer.
Hip Hugger Clothes Basket – A non-baby item that I had pre-baby, that I still couldn’t live without. Mostly in the first few weeks when I hated the idea of having to climb up and down the steps and didn’t feel comfortable leaving Jude on one floor alone – this was super handy. Most others would slip off, but this one hugs the hip so I could have clothes basket in one hand, baby in the other.
Burp Cloths – specifically the cloth diaper burp clothes. They sell them at BRU. They’re basically like white rags, but are highly absorbent. The ones I use are tri-fold with a slightly more absorbent center. Very hard to explain, but super handy! Plus they’re MUCH cheaper than the fancy decorated ones in weird fabric that don’t absorb.
Tummy Time Play Mat – This was super convenient before we had an area rug in the living room. When we put Jude on his back to kick around it kept him off the hard floors. Now that he’s getting a little older, even though we have the rug, he’s able to focus on the objects and likes looking at his little toys that hang.
Home Made Laundry Detergent – With all the wash, it’s nice to not pay high dollar for detergent!


Odds and Ends I might recommend:

Avent Bottles – another one of those to-each-their-own type items.
Pack N’ Play – Specifically Graco, it seems very well made.
Pack N’ Play Sheets and Changing Station Covers – much easier to swap out a sheet or a cover than to clean the whole thing.
Sling – See below on my rant about travel systems. This was a nice alternative when making a quick run into a store, going for walks around the neighborhood, doing stuff around the house, etc. (brand I used: hot slings)
Boppie – This was extremely convenient when I first started breast feeding. Jude, Ryan and I had a system when I would feed, legs crossed, boppy on top of legs, baby on boppy. Ryan would gently hold his hands while I got the latch right. I consider this system of ours the reason why he got the whole process so quickly. It was very routine and consistent. Thanks Boppie!
Medela Nipple Cream – I never got the dreaded sore nipples while beginning, but it was still nice and soothing while adjusting to the whole process.
Bottle Drying Rack – I usually hand wash all of Jude’s bottles – for some reason they would never get 100% clean in the dishwasher, so this was incredibly handy and allowed for easy access to them (instead of shoving them in a cabinet).
Nursing Wrap – Peanut Shell w/ Wire peep hole – perfect for nursing on the go – or just sitting around the house when you’re not sure who might walk in.

Take it or Leave it:

Infant Car Seat/Travel System – there are times when the infant car seat/travel system is the most convenient thing in the world and other times that it’s the biggest pain in the ass. For the cost… I would venture to say if I didn’t have it, I wouldn’t get another one. But considering I do and it was a gift, I love it more than anything? I feel like it’s a staple item on any baby registry – which is maybe why I went for it, but might be wise to just get a regular car seat and some sort of front carrier/umbrella stroller in the future… It’s really hard to say.