Part 5: Getting Things Recreational Again

I have been putting off this post... but I guess I'll get it over with since it will fully conclude my series.

I was done working full time roughly at the beginning of September. It's now January. I think it's safe to say that my previous assumption that it'd get normal once I was home was not an accurate assumption.

I'd say the last month has really been the real transition back to normal. I personally think it's pathetic that it took basically 7 months to get any real sex drive back, but I really have no idea what the 'norm' is - some women I've talked to were back at it within a couple of weeks, some I've read about were out of it for a year. I'm not really sure at which point I went from hyperventilating at the thought of sex, to almost enjoying it, to being able to experiment with different positions again, but it happened.

That's not to say it's always a good thing! Ryan's well aware that things are back up and running and he is thrilled! Quite regularly I'm being seduced when all I want to do it sit down, relax, sleep, take advantage of my adult time and read, or just cook dinner.

My advice is if you hear about people practically wanting to beg their doctors to let them have sex again and wonder "am I weird for still not wanting to be touched after 5, 6, 7 months" - no, you're not. I personally think it's really important for you to communicate this with your husband. I know I did and there were STILL times he thought it was his fault that I couldn't get into it. Also, make a point to take the time for each other. I'm not saying you need to go out on a date or have a candle lit dinner or anything, but at night, when the baby is asleep, turn off the TV, cuddle, chat and just enjoy one another. Since I work in the evenings and Ryan during the day, it's sometimes hard to really do this, but we do try.

It's important for you to remind yourself why you're together. Not for the kid, not for the house, but because you love one another, Keep in touch with what it is that you enjoy about the other... then of course... don't forget the lube.

Part 4: Back to Work Sex

Perhaps a Subtitle should be "Awkward, we-haven't-really-done-it-in-a-long-time Sex"

Just when I think things are going to get normal again. They don't.

I'll say that after my doctor's appointment I was still not convinced I was ready to go and at that time, Jude was sleeping with us a lot... making it that much more difficult. I put it off for awhile and before I knew it I was heading back to work. This created a whole new list of problems. The number one issue being: time! I honestly don't know how two working parents have the TIME to enjoy one another! I mean it sounds so cliche, but it's true! Especially in the beginning when you're falling into a routine.

I would come home from work, exhausted from waking up early, getting Jude ready/things ready for daycare (the first couple of days) and Katie (from there on out) and all I wanted to do was go to bed. But I couldn't! First, I wanted to catch up on my Jude cuddle time! I missed him so much, that all I wanted to do was spend time with him! I would come home disappointed if he was asleep because the second I walked in the door I just wanted to scoop him up into my arms!

Then after rushing through dinner, talking about our days and trying to catch up on any house work, I had to get ready for the next day. I had to prepare bottles, clean the previous day's bottles, get my pump bag ready and have everything set to minimize the work the next morning. SHWOO!

It's hard to say when exactly we first attempted sex after I had Jude, but I'm thinking it was somewhere in this time frame and as you can imagine, I wasn't whole heartedly into it. I was already exhausted, emotionally upset being away from Jude and just all in all, over whelmed. Within the first two weeks of being back at work, I made the decision that I just could not continue the way things were. I quit my job. I hoped that once I was done, things would (sexually) get back to where they should be, but also knew that with me working nights, we'd have even less time together.

I honestly think the first time you try having sex postpartum, you need to realize that it's not just hoping back on the same old train. For me anyway. In addition to you realizing it, you need to have this pep-talk with your husband so he knows what exactly you expect to get out of it.

If I had to narrow it down to a few words:
Dry. Awkward. Clinical. Unsatisfying.

You're trying to take it slow, find the right position and (again, for me...) not wince in pain. One strong word of advice: get some lube. Unlike some people who get the awkward sex over with quickly, this lasted for us, for quite some time.

I think that Ryan started to even blame himself, like I was totally not into him or something, which wasn't the case, at all. I wanted to, I was just... scared... terrified... not able to get things going. We were doing all the same things that worked before, but it just wasn't working.

I think in addition to just being nervous, I was distracted, tired and then there's breastfeeding.

If you think about the biology of it, if you're nursing a child that can't thrive on it's own yet, your body will not be actively working towards having another child. You're already giving up so many nutrients to one being, the first few months I can't imagine doing it for two! Thus - a loss in sex drive and the goods to make it enjoyable. I'm sure this isn't the case for everyone (I just talked to a girl the other day who will be having her second child LESS than a year after her first!), but it sure was for us.

In the end, my hope that after 3-4 months things would be just as they were before was quickly fading. I needed to stop setting goals and let nature take over. When I/we were ready, it would happen on it's own.

For my Bridal shower, Barbie gave us a pail of wine. It was a great gift! There was a great poem and instructions on when to drink each bottle. We were pretty good about drinking most of them at the appropriate time! The bottle pictured above was our honeymoon wine that we packed away and took to Costa Rica and enjoyed one night in our room. I'd say it could be a good idea to recreate (or create a new) romantic evening for two at some point postpartum.

Question: How do you find ways to have quality time with your husband on a regular basis? This is not just about sex, but just one on one time to enjoy each other? If you go out, what kinds of things to do you if you're on a budget?

Part 3: Postpardum Sex (or lack of)

There's really not much to say here other than... just don't do it.

Outside of not being 'allowed' to by your doctor, it's just best. Take the time to recover. Personally, I had NO interest. I remember getting on a chat board one day and seeing one mother say she had just had her child a matter of weeks ago and was ready to get back into it. I was amazed. I just could not imagine.

For us, Jude was in our room for the first couple of months and so it would have been weird. There's so much adjusting going on anyway...

As you will read in a lot of places, really take this time to find alone time for you and your husband/significant other and cherish those moments that you get alone without the baby (as it won't happen much). Cuddle, talk and just connect with one another...

Hair

I had been warned, but it’s still a surprise. This past week or so I have been losing my hair. Not just little bits here and there, but globs of it at a time!

Apparently this is common for most women after pregnancy. During pregnancy you lose less hair – your hair is staying in it’s “resting” phase longer than normal (so typically your hair will feel thicker during pregnancy) due to hormones and all that good stuff. Usually about 12 weeks post partum all those resting hairs start to fall out. I read that on average you loose 100-150 hairs per day (when your NOT pregnant and hormonal). However, during the post pregnancy hair loss when your hormones start to readjust, you can lose up to 500 hairs a day!! A considerable difference!

I’m confident I won’t be going bald any time soon, but poor Ryan has some extra drain cleaning to do.

Motherhood

Question: what has surprised you most about motherhood? of course you can list more than 1 thing. And you can interpret the question however you want.

Answer:

SO MUCH!

Before getting pregnant I felt I had a 'one up' on a lot of mothers because I had helped raise my little brothers. However, I've learned that helping it different than doing it yourself. But I wouldn't say caring for him was really a surprise.

Perhaps the biggest surprise is the amount of LOVE you can have for someone. I love my husband more than anything, I love my family, I love my dog, but I think the love for your child is totally different. When I see him, it's so hard to beleive that there are people out there who could harm a helpless child. I can't imagine how someone could mistreat something so special - especially when it's their own. I feel like I would do anything to inconvenience myself for the sake of him. It's uncomprehensible to me how people can not give their children 100% of themselves to help shape them into great people.

I've also realized how much I hate being away from him. I know there were multiple times that people have offered to watch him to give me time to myself, or time for just Ryan and I, but I never really accept. I seriously love being with him and almost dred the time apart. Now I'm sure when he gets older that may change, but right now...

This may sound very cliche, but it really is true. You her people talk about the love their have for their children and I honestly beleive that you can't fully understand until you have one of your own.

Oh, and the explosive pooping was a big surprise. :)

My First Day Back

Here I sit blogging when there are a million things I should be doing to prepare for tomorrow... but I thought I'd share a little about my first day back to work.

I'll start from the very beginning (hoping to finish before Jude wants his final meal - well I got 1/2 way through - now I'm back).

I woke up at 5:00 this morning. The past few nights Jude as been sleeping until at least 6am, but I specifically woke him up at 5:00 for the sake of a convenient morning feeding schedule. I figured wake up and eat at 5, eat again right before 7, and go to work (as much on-the-boob feeding as we can!). The morning started out great - we were ahead of schedule, I had plenty of cuddle time before getting ready for work and since I had prepared all of our bags the night before I was ready to go.

I started to get emotional when I bundled Jude up in his car seat, but I told myself I'd stay strong. We got him to daycare and everything seemed to be very smooth! The kids were happy for the most part (except for the kid who's mother look very unpleasant and just threw him in the room). I share with them Jude's last feeding, diaper change, when he woke up, etc. They seemed very responsive and then the worst part of the morning: I realized I forgot his breast milk at home!!!

I had dropped off some frozen milk the week before to have as back up, but didn't want to risk it not being enough. SO MUCH FOR BEING AHEAD OF SCHEDULE!! I had to run home (not a long drive, but not convenient - especially since Ryan left my car with very little gas) get the milk and come back.

Jude was already out of his car seat and I figured this would be a nice "ease into it" moment so I left him with the staff and ran home, he seemed so content and that made me feel good. I was back in about 20 minutes with my "breast-sicles" (as Josh calls them) and walked into an unpleasant scene.

The staff was caring for the kids, but there were so many unhappy kids, adjusting to the morning I suppose. Jude was laying on the floor (clean! not dirty - there are no shoes allowed in the infant room) next to the previously unpleasant child. The previously sad child was now screaming and Jude was whining next to him. He didn't seem REALLY upset, just crying to be picked up. I immediately got teary eyed thinking that for the next 7-8 hours he would not be getting 100% of someone's attention... forgetting the breast milk at home HAD to be one of the worst things I could have done... I think the morning would have gone much more smoothly had I left while he was happy.

I said my goodbyes as quickly as I could and basically ran to my car. On my way out, the staff encouraged me to call and check up at any time. I fall apart the second I get in the car and of course had to call Ryan. I told him about Jude crying on the floor staring up at the white ceiling tiles, the little boy screaming, the kid with the runny nose and much much more. I felt like a terrible mother. Why have a child just to throw him/her into daycare??

Ryan told me to go to work for as long as I could, at least try to make it to lunch and then go pick him up and go home. I then had a much more achievable goal to reach (alright! just 4 hours!) and calmed myself down on the 15 minute drive to work. Of course I'm bombarded with people asking how my morning went, which only made me think of him more and get me even more worked up. Since I was pumping at work, I broke my morning up into two halves (only 2 sets of 2 hours!) making it even more achievable! I then find out that I have a meeting with one of my superiors at 11, again making my morning more bearable.

Before I knew it, 11 came around and without even needing to ask I was told if I needed to, I could go home early. I really contemplated it and so that instead I'd go to Jude's daycare for lunch and feed him/spend time with him and go from there. While on my way there I call to remind them not to feed Jude as I would like to during my visit and they said it was fine because he was asleep. When I came in, he was awake and peaceful in one of the care-givers arms (no, I don't know everyone's names yet). This of course made me feel much better. He smiled when he saw me and I melted.

He and I were given a room I could go in to nurse him and I spent plenty of time showering him with love. Ryan was getting off around 2:00 so I figured it's only about 2-3 more hours. I'll leave him in daycare and and finish my day at work. The second half of the day went much more smoothly and I actually got quite a bit of work done.

At 4:30, I couldn't get home fast enough!!!

Tonight I tried to take advantage of as much time with Jude as I could. I'm not at all looking forward to tomorrow, but being on day in seems to ease me a little. I did however get my schedule adjusted so I now have an hour lunch instead of 30 minutes, so I'll be able to go visit Jude during lunch whenever I want!

Drinking

I think it's PRETTY safe to say that I have not REALLY drank in about a year. Not very long after we got married we started to try to get pregnant and so I feel like it was constantly in the back of my head that I need to be careful if it did happen. Last summer was probably the first in a series of summer that I remained on the sober side of things. Not to mention my drinking-partner-in-crime was pregnant, so what was the point??

I thought for sure that it'd be something I missed, but really I haven't. There were of course those days where I felt like the miserable old wench who was telling her husband he couldn't have fun, because I couldn't (or because I could deliver our child any minute). Or the days I really could just go for a frozen margarita. Or the days that I felt like the old lady at a young and hip party. But for the most part I was fine being in a party/drinking environment and being the sober one.

After having Jude I began breast feeding and as I'm sure most first time breast feeders are, I was worried about skipping sessions and just unsure how much alcohol really got into my milk (even after I was sober). I remember distinctly one small party we had at our house where I had like 1 drink and didn't feel comfortable feeding Jude so gave him a bottle of our frozen milk instead. After feeding him I was worried that my boobs would get too full or "off schedule" so mid-party I pumped about what he would have ate and just threw it down the drain. Since then I've relaxed a little and have realized that skipping one feeding here and there really won't do much of anything. However, I still like to keep myself pretty clean if I know that Jude will be eating soon. Specifically, if people are beginning to drink and I know he'll be hungry in the next 20-30 minutes I'll hold off until he's done.

In addition to the issue of feedings, I just am worried about getting drunk or tipsy, being up late and not feeling 100% the next morning when I'll have to take care of Jude. I know I could function, but I guess I just want to give him all of me, all the time. When really I'd probably go insane if I didn't take a night for myself every now and then.

Last night Ryan was in the mood for a beer and I wanted to drink a little something myself. I got one of my old favorites: cosmo mix and vodka. After feeding Jude what I knew/expected to be his last feeding of the night, I felt pretty comfortable putting a couple back.

I fully expected to be wasted after just one drink, but surprisingly it didn't kick in much at all! I had I think about 4 drinks - which probably balances out to 4 heavy shots. By the end of number 4 I was feeling pretty good. It was no where near the crazy times we've had in the past, but it was nice to let lose a little after so long.

Even thought I didn't feel too drunk that night when heading off to bed, wake up at 4am was a little rough. I had the most terrible vodka-taste in my mouth and the slightest hint of a headache. After a little nap though, I bounced back quite nicely.

runnin' runnin' and runnin' runnin'

I've been thinking about getting out and running for a couple of weeks now. However, it seemed like there was always something new going on that kept me from getting out there.

Tonight, Ryan got home and we had nothing to do all evening. After eating dinner and Ryan finished grouting the tiles in the bathroom (finally!!) we were sitting around and I decided to get out and go for a run.

Ryan and Jude were passed out on the couch so I took Buddy with me. Unfortunately I didn't get very far. My large and "in your face" boobies were bouncing all over the place. I continued with a light jog and wrapped it up with a brisk walk (which Buddy seemed to appreciate). Next time I'll be sure to increase my support.

Even though I didn't get very it still felt good to get back out there!

A Big Weekend for my Big Boy! (and Mommy)

Late Night at K&B's

After Ryan got off work on Saturday we headed over to Kevin and Barbie's for a family-friendly BBQ. We got there late, but it was still a grand time as always. They had a slip-n-slide set up and even though the water was chilly Ryan made a couple of slips down.

Other than that, we mostly just hung out and chatted and just generally enjoyed ourselves. Bryan and Katy were also invited and so the six (plus 2 youngin's) had a good 'ol time - everyone else had gotten there much earlier than us, so they headed out not too long after we arrived.

Jude was a trooper the whole time and of course, slept.

Cloth Diapers

When we brought Jude home from the hospital he was too tiny for his cloth diapers. I had read before that typically they fit babies around 10lbs and up, so I expected we'd have a little lag time before we'd be able to use them. We had gotten quite a few packs of disposable diapers from family members who assumed cloth diapers wouldn't last for us. While it was annoying that they assumed we'd never stick with it, it was convenient that we didn't have to buy disposables of our own!

Today when I went into Jude's drawer that holds all of his disposables, I noticed that he was running pretty low - he still has enough for a couple more days, but not too much. I was dreading having to go out and buy diapers so thought "why not just TRY the cloth diapers?". Holding them up to the disposables they looked huge and I just assumed they'd never fit. Much to my surprise they fit him fine (he's not 10lbs, so I'm guessing that was an estimate)! There's a bit of bulk since there's enough fabric for them to grow with him, but they fit the curves of his legs and waist great!

Jude must have noticed the change in underoo's because he decided to make some extra work for mommy. Every time I put a diaper on him he's start pooing and of course that meant swapping out to a new diaper. I'm still adjusting to figuring out how to tell if he's wet or not with the cloth diapers (with disposable, it's very obvious!), but I just keep checking them (see "mommy melt down" on how my frequent checking back fired) and I'm sure I'll be used to it in no time.

Just a side note: the fact that Jude doesn't have "solid poo" is comforting and reassuring that this should be a breeze as the "scrapping" of the chunks is the scariest part!

My First Mommy Melt-Down:

Since Jude has come home (and even in the hospital) I have felt so lucky about how well behaved he is. He sleeps well, rarely cries for "no reason" and is just a great baby! I enjoy every minute with him and have only spent about an hour away from him during my first week home when I went to the grocery store - I just hate the idea of leaving him (obsessive??). I hear stories all the time about hormones and adjusting to being with the baby and I felt so lucky that I just didn't experience any of that!

Without getting too far into it Ryan's been working a lot at Lowe's and so really, even if I wanted time a lone it's pretty much impossible. Today I was frustrated that he was working and really just wanted a little break (not to mention I didn't want to spend the day a lone and go to the b-day party - below- solo). So, already annoyed I head for the party. I was already out and about and instead of going home to feed Jude before heading to the park, I figured I'd stop in a parking lot to feed him in the back seat. It was hot out and the car wouldn't get cool, so he didn't eat very well. Concerned that I'd have to feed him again later at the party, I got a little worried about how that would play out, but went with it anyway.

I figured since he had his new cloth diapers on I should check and see what was going on. I take off his diaper and it seems a little wet, so I decided to just change him so he'll be fine through the party. I have him sitting on my lap (remember I'm sitting in the back seat) and as I take off his diaper he lets out a little gas. I chuckle and sweet talk him and as I lift his bum to put the new diaper underneath the worst thing ever happened. Like a hose he shoots poo all over my shirt. I was mortified and disgusted. I contemplated just driving home, closing myself in the room and staying there forever - I was frustrated. On top of my previous frustration, I was done.

I take a few breaths and ran into the store I was parked in front of to buy a new shirt. Problem solved.

Fast forward through the birthday party. Ryan and I are supposed to head over to Bryan and Katy's. I look down at the t-shirt I had bought and I have a HUGE milk spot on my right boobie (the extra leaky one). Apparently the nipple pads just weren't enough. I told Ryan I wanted to go home and stay there all night. Without bawling like a baby, I shed my first few post-baby tears and we went home.

After getting myself cleaned up, feeding Jude a REAL feeding (to empty those milk bags) I felt much better. Looking back I feel a little lame (none of it is THAT big of a deal), but I can officially say I've had my first mommy melt-down. I survived, I feel fine now, but hope tomorrow is much rosier.

Jude's First Birthday Party:

When we came home from the hospital, waiting in the mail box was a invitation from Ryan's long time friend, Rob inviting us to his son's 3rd birthday. I was excited because already Jude would be going to his first "kiddy birthday!". Unfortunately, Ryan had to work today, so Jude and I made the trek together. First we went to Toys 'R Us and got some nifty gifts (insert melt down) and then went to Lums Pond and got our party on.

While the party was precious, with a pony and all a yummy bbq, it was a little weird being there and not really "knowing" anyone too well. It was nice however that all of Rob's family that have known Ryan since he was just a bitty baby got to meet Ryan's baby!

Ryan ended up showing up right when things were getting packed up, but at that point we were already on our way out. Hopefully next time it'll be a little more successful.

BBQ at B&K's

Finally - Bryan and Katy's. As always a glorious time.




We played Catch Phrase (is that what it was called??), passed babies around, chatted, ate, saw Trent's first tooth (!!) and just relaxed. After it got dark there was a little fire pit action.

The night also brought out the mosquitos! After a long day I was ready to settle in at home anyway, so we scooted out around 9:00 or so. Still, a fun time!

My boys all tuckered out:

Ryan's B-day Celebration

May 20th was Ryan's birthday. As with many of the other significant days in the near future, Ryan had to work at Lowe's, so we weren't able to really celebrate.

Instead he decided he wanted to invite a few friends out for dinner on Thursday (last night). It was very low key and he requested that we didn't have the whole restaurant sing happy birthday to him. As difficult as it was not to embarrass him, I agreed and we just ate and had a good time.

RIGHT before leaving for the restaurant I had fed Jude and knew that 1. He'd sleep through the majority of dinner and 2. he wouldn't be eating again for another 2 hours or so. I took this opportunity to have my SECOND adult beverage since I've given birth - a glass of sutter home! Yummy!

Me and my FIRST adult drink (at our anniversary dinner):

After dinner we headed back to our house for a little ice cream cake. Ryan was a little tired and everyone had work the next day so we called it quits around 9:30 or so, but it was still nice doing a little something to celebrate Ryan transitioning in to his "late 20's".

Ryan is generally a difficult person to shop for. He usually doesn't want anything and so I buy him things that remind me of him for some reason or things he "needs" (new clothes, shoes, etc.). we had just gotten him new sneakers a few weeks ago and he really doesn't need any new clothes, so I had to go another route. First we bought him a new drill (which is for work, so doesn't really count as a b-day gift) and a baseball glove! He's been wanting a baseball glove for some reason and my mom sent him a check to cover part of it. The other day we went out and I realized that 25 dollars just wasn't enough for a glove and so i bought him the rest of the glove and a couple of balls and some "leather conditioner". He was more than excited and the next day I saw it already wrapped up with conditioner on it to get him ready for his catch (or whatever it is that he plans to do with it). I'm always thrilled when he actually uses something I buy him!

A Walk in the Park - Getting Out in the Sun!

Since the Monday after we were discharged from the hospital, Jude and I have been making trips out of the house. Going into all of this, I had no idea what to expect as far as how quickly I'd be off the couch and driving around, so I was very pleased that I was good to go in less than a week!

Typically we do pretty low key things. Doctor's appointments, lunches with Uncle Bryan, quick trips to random stores, etc. Since he's officially been off his bili-blanket, I don't think we've had one full day of just sitting around the house. While I enjoyed driving around in the lovely weather I honestly hadn't really been taking advantage of it! I kept telling myself "when we get home we'll go for a walk!". Then I'd get home it'd be time to feed Jude and then Ryan was getting home and before I knew it, it was too late.

Today, I ran a few errands and decided I WILL go for a walk (not just to get outside, but to get some exercise)! I first loaded up some recycling to take to the recycling center in People's Plaza and then we headed for the walking park on route 40.

It was surprisingly very warm so about half way through I was about to die. I was wearing long pants and a black shirt and just was not very well prepared. Either way we trucked on through and I feel much better about myself for getting out there!

Jude on the other hand didn't even notice. He slept through the whole thing as he typically does when he's strapped in his car seat :(

In the next couple of weeks I have a couple of other out door activities I want to do: Strawberry picking and cherry picking and yardwork! Both of these items (the picking) are on my "101" list and so I'll be keeping myself occupied and crossing some more things off! If there's anyone interested in going, let me know! I plan to do at least one of these during the week and perhaps another on the weekend (strawberries next weekend? cherries early in June during the week sometime?). Let me know if if you're interested!

Feeling Good About Myself

As noted on my 101 list I have a goal to get below my pre-pregnancy weight.

If you had asked me a month ago how long I expected it to take, I would have had no idea. I really didn't plan to "rush" it but hoped I'd eventually be back in my normal clothes. Originally I told myself I would not get on the scale for quite some time after delivery. I didn't want to upset myself or focus on my weight too soon because I fully expected it taking at least a few months and I was fine with that. However, not too long after getting home from the hospital I thought I'd just step on the scale to see what was going on - I was pleased to see that I had dropped about 15 of the 30 pounds I had put on during my nine months of being pregnant. I assumed it was all weight I lost during the delivery and that the remaining 15 or so would slowly fall off.

Typically before I got pregnant I would fluctuate between 150 and 155 (yup, I'm throwing it all out there). Sometimes on my really good days I might be below the 150 mark. After less than 2 weeks of being home I thought I'd try the scale again.

I had been wearing yoga skirts and basic tank tops for the first week and a half and I was getting tired of rotating through my few outfit options. I had at one point attempted a pair of shorts and they weren't quite right so I told myself I'd hold off on them as to avoid a pitty party.

Well, yesterday I thought I'd take another shot at it. I tried on a pair of my favorite jeans and was extremely pleased to find that (though a little snug) I could button them up and I looked pretty decent! Other than my slightly loose stomach that needs some toning I could rock them without a problem!

This morning I hoped on the scale again and was 155.8 lbs!!! Within the next couple of days... to a week (I don't know) I'm assuming I could technically cross off "get below my pre pregnancy weight" as I was around the 155 weight when I got pregnant (and what's .8 lbs??), but I think I'll hold off for getting below 150.

Either way, as I rock my black bermuda shorts from prior years, I'm feeling pretty good about myself and grateful that my body has bounced back so quickly!

I'm still very eager to do a little shopping but at this point I will wait to see what happens!

A Mini-Anniversary Celebration

As I blogged before, I used to have high expectations for our anniversary. The closer it got to the arrival of Jude my expectations decreased and I grew to expect nothing big.

Earlier this week Ryan and I were discussing his schedule for Lowes and realized he'd be working on our anniversary (this Sunday) for the big chuck of the day (like 2-11 or something). I was really disappointed. If anything I was hoping Jude would be the reason we didn't do anything, not Lowes. Either way I accepted it and Ryan said that maybe we could get out on Friday night for dinner or something for the two of us.

I was all about going out, but told Ryan instead I'd cook the roast I had put out in the fridge. Well, I never got around to putting the roast in the crock pot yesterday morning (come to think of it, I need to do that now!) so we decided to go out anyway.

There are a handful of restaurants I love - Outback, Tivoli, Napoli ... and the list continues. Ryan asked where I wanted to go and I had to think for a minute. I finally decided on Outback. I hadn't had an alcoholic drink in about 9-10 months and figured I could REALLY go for a margarita!

Right before leaving I made sure to feed Jude a good helping o' boobies so that I could get my drink down and digested before he needed to eat again. Lucky for us there wasn't a long wait at Outback and we got seated in minutes.

It's amazing (and almost annoying) how much attention you get for having a baby. Everyone who walked by felt the need to stop and look or comment on how tiny he was, etc. Anywho...

It was sooo nice ordering an adult beverage again! how delicious! I almost forgot how perfect the tangy tequilla taste of a margarita was! After the first few sips I could almost say it was starting to get to my head. Lucky for me our food started coming out minutes later and with a little something in my stomach it helped the slight buzz.

Other than the drink, dinner was wonderful and relaxing. It was fun being out with the little family we now have. Jude was, as always a saint the whole time. He loves being in his little car seat and will sleep through just about anything.

After dinner we stopped by 'uncle' Bryan house for a little bit before heading home.

It was not a romantic evening by any stretch of the imagination, but it was nice spending time with Ryan since I hadn't seen him much this week.