Work.

I'm sitting at work. Bored. Tired. Ready to go home.

I read an article one time that people are starting to spend more and more time on the internet while at work. While some hypothesized that it's because of people having more and more access to it, really for me, it's because I'm bored. I'm not being tested. I'm not doing anything I "love".

When I worked at MBNA/Bank of America - I HATED my job. I didn't want to go. I woke up every morning SEARCHING for an excuse to call out. Sometimes pulling up to the building I would hope it was on fire so I could leave early. Thunderstorms were amazing because it brought new found promises of a black out - or even worse lighting stiking the buliding and causing (yet again) a fire - closing the building for days at a time.

In my last weeks there I looked for any excuse to call out. A head ache. My tire was flat (it was never flat). Or the simple "it's personal".

Now here I am at my current company. It's not terrible. I don't HATE my job. I don't watch the clock for hours at a time waiting for the minutes to click away. I occupy myself. Try and find work. Talk to friends online. Etc. Etc. Which is still much better then anything MBNA had to offer. But I'm still not 100% content. I'm not being tested. I'm not in love with my job (frankly half the material that I'm in charge of purchasing I have no idea what it is).

I want more. I want to love my work.

I'm sure I don't want to be a psychologist at this point in my life (I still love people and talking and listening, but it's not what I want to do). I'd love a low paid job helping kids or working with people. But then again I'd be the happiest person in the world if someone would pay me to take pictures. I love it. I'm not great at it - but I think I'm ok. Not to mention it'd have a REASON for watching people. I love watching people and taking notice of the little things around me.

Also, I think I'd love running my own business. Sure it'd have it's ups and downs - responsibility, long hours, little pay... but it'd be a challenge. I'd meet new people and feel a sense of authority. Unlike here where from time to time people talk to me like I'm an idiot (when really I know how to do a lot more then they do).

Really, I don't know what I want to do. But I hope I figure it out soon...



I joke regularly that I would LOVE to be a stay at home wife. Which I'm sure I would. For the first week. two weeks. maybe a month. But that's all I'd give it before I was off spending too much money or searching for a part time job.