Pre- 39 Week Check-in:

Doctor’s visits:

Tomorrow is my 39 Week check up! I find that the past couple of weeks I have been getting more and more anxious between visits to figure out what exactly is going on. I generally feel some-what insecure going out and about not knowing whether if at any second I should expect my water to break or if I haven’t progressed at all in the past week. Having a doctor tell me exactly where I am generally soothes the nerves a little.

In addition tomorrow will be my first visit with ‘my’ doctor in quite some time (maybe even before Disney??). Typically when I made my appointments they’re scheduled with who ever could see me the latest in the day so I could miss as little work as possible – not to mention it’s good to meet the different people would could possibly be on call when/if I go in labor naturally. I really like my doctor and so I’m anxious to see her and ask her any final questions that are floating around in my head.

Unfortunately Ryan may be in Dover working tomorrow so he may not be able to be there, which makes me a sad. I’d hate for some big/exciting conversation to come up and him not be there for it. Originally my appointment was scheduled for 3:30 but they called to move it up to 2:00 because my doctor would be leaving early tomorrow. Had it stayed at the original time he probably could have made it.

My Emotional State:

As time progresses I’m getting less and less sleep. I’m not sure if it’s my body’s way of preparing for what’s to come or if sleep is just getting that difficult, but I have been ‘dragging’ at work the past week. I’ve found that if I go to bed before Ryan it’s not as bad, because then I don’t lay there concentrating on his snoring – but it’s not uncommon to wake up in the middle of the night to pee and not be able to fall back asleep. Pair that with a 75lb dog taking up half of our Queen size bed and… well, you get the picture.

What’s strange is that even though I feel like I’ve been getting more and more tired while at work, the second I get home I’m non-stop. I have an on-going list of things to accomplish that continues to grow (never shrinks). No matter how much I tell myself I’m going to go home, sit down and take a nap I just can’t seem to do it. Last night for example I scrubbed our downstairs bathroom, did laundry, washed Jude’s cloth diapers, tidied up our room, went grocery shopping and who knows what else. Before I knew it, it was time for bed and I didn’t get a chance to relax.

Preparing my Exit:

A few months ago there was someone hired at work to take my position. Before too long the economy got the best of us and she was laid off. I had previously trained her to take over for me and was beginning to shuffle things her way when the big adjustment came that I’d have to train a variety of people through out our office to do bit sand pieces of my job. It didn’t take long to get this covered, but it’s not as easy at this point to start getting things off my plate because I feel bad enough that they’ll be doing my job for two months – let alone for the next X weeks.

So, instead I am diligently trying to get things as organized and in order as I possibly can! I make detailed notes on everything, separate things/combine things as needed to be as comprehendible as possible, etc. Instead of looking at things from my perspective I look at it from the angle of someone who’s never done what I do and try to leave at the end of the day so that if ANYONE came in the next morning, picked up my pending work and sat down at my desk they would know what needs to be done.

Yesterday in particular I just had this strange feeling and kept thinking “I don’t think I’m going to be here tomorrow”. Typically I leave work right at 4:30 – but I found my self here close to 5:00 getting things in order JUST IN CASE. Obviously my instincts were wrong, but at least I’m more prepared now and hopefully all set for whatever may happen.

Being ‘ready’ in General:

People constantly ask me “are you ready”. Before I had always said “let’s just wait until the bathroom’s done” but at the rate it’s going I won’t have my baby until the end of the summer (I hope that’s an exaggeration). But in reality I’m ready when he is. If it happened tonight or in 2 weeks I’m fine with it either way as long as it’s the right time for him!

Typically though, I think they mean are you ready with all the ‘stuff’ you need. In that sense, then yes. I’m totally ready. The car seat’s installed, my bag is pretty much packed, the nursery’s ready to go, all his clothes are washed, etc. There are a handful of minor things that could be done, but they’re all pretty small and honestly don’t matter that much. I could probably complete them all in a night if I just set my mind to it – I just haven’t yet.