Why I Quit Facebook...

So, I recently commited social suicide and deleted my facebook account.

I'm pretty sure the origin of my joining facebook was via invitation from a friend, but I can't really remember. Perhaps it had something to do with the lure of connecting to other individuals in classes at UD... or something useful like that. And then it happened. Facebook went main stream and before I knew it gam-gam was friending me and I found myself falling into the relationship woes of my family and trying to keep up with the "what's happening now's" of my friends on a minute-by-minute basis. And boy was it intense. Then of course having facebook on your mobil phone just opens a whole new world! You mean I can catch up on my 'friends' while sitting at a red light???!!! Sign me up!

I was beginning to feel like every other sentence I uttered was started with "so earlier I was reading on facebook...." or when I was trying to be a little more cryptic while talking to Ryan "... so I was reading online...." and even though he reminded me over and over again how terrible Facebook was, I just didn't want to hear it. "It's a great tool" I kept saying. "It brings people TOGETHER!" After all, I was 'talking' to people I hadn't seen in ten years!

Then my husband's family found me online and while being friends with my family seemed out of my comfort zone, but still ok, being friends with his family seemed beyond anything I would do. Not because I don't like them, but because there's only so many people I want to have access to me (ha! but I was on facebook, so really, what does it matter???). So the beginning of shameful friend declining began. Then the begining of denying the same person twice... three times.... four times.... was beginning to get uncomfortable. When is the next time I'm going to see them? Will they mention it? Will they remind me "oh, you have a friend request waiting!" or will they belittle me infront of family members for not accepting their friend request??? I was beginning to get worried.

Finally the keystone fell through and my facebook world came to a crashing heap over what was a simple and harmless comment. Something that was meant to be funny and witty was taken the wrong way and it put facebook into perspective for me. Was it worth it anymore? What benefit was there in knowing what some kid I was in 6th grade with was doing every day and how his 'acting' career was progressing? How long could I really be drawn into the dramatic life of my cousin? How much did I really want to be a part of a seemingly constant struggle to prove that your life was awesome (or for those who crave pitty - prove that their life sucks). Did I really want everyone to see every picture I've taken of my son and know what it is that we do as a family everyday? How fun would it be to show them photo albums in our home when they've already seen them all online? Would there be anything left to talk about with anyone anymore or will we be in a spiral of constantly updating online and glued into internet databases that we lose sight of how to really communicate?!

I mean don't get me wrong, I'm all about keeping up with the times... being a little techy and not giving in to the ways of the dinosaurs (after all - I know how to send an e-mail and that's more than I can say for my husband), but I had enough. In a moment of sheer frustration, I deleted my facebook account and except for connecting with a small group of women in my area, I haven't looked back.

Not being connected though is teaching me a few things about facebook. I have to receive personal e-mails and text messages with invitations to events. Someone recently asked for my address since I won't be part of the bulk facebook invitation and so they need to mail me an invitation. So, perhaps disconnecting with facebook wasn't social suicide. Perhaps it was reconnecting with the people that really do matter most. The handful of text messages I got asking "why did you delete me from your friends list" comes to show how many of the 150ish friends I had really truely noticed that I was there. I'm realizing which of the list of FB invitations and events I was invited to are ones I'm REALLY wanted at and which of them I might have just been an after thought for since they saw my name on a list of friends.

So, I'm pretty convinced that quiting facebook wasn't really social suicide... and maybe more of a reawakening. For this, I thank the person who put all of this in perspective - even if at the time it seemed like more of a hassle and silly misunderstanding.

But what does this mean about my blog? Currently my blog settings allow for more access then my facebook ever did and I go into greater detail about our daily life then I ever would on facebook. So, I plan to consolidate. This blog was intended to document my engagement, wedding planning, and eventually became about my pregnancy, my son and how our family is growing. So, essentially, it was a journal. That's what it's going to be again. Since most people wouldn't put their journal out there for everyone to read (unless of course they die, are famous, or are looking to make a lot of money), I'm not going to put mine out there for everyone to read. Shortly (but probably not for a week or two) my settings will be scaled back and you'll need an invitation to read about my life and the most important people in it. So, if you want in - let me know!